[QUOTE=jiangyueming;858252]Hi, this is my first time to be here, I don't know if you guys can help me correct my essay? If not, just ignore it.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: young people have no influence on important decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole.
Young people are becoming mature earlier and earlier than previous generation. They play a vital role in the society, and it is impossible to ignore their influences on the society. In my experience, young people have great influence on important decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole.
In China, online shopping market has increased dramatically in recent years, mainly due to the 80s, which was born after 1980 (This part of the sentence isn’t clear). They are keen on buying varied goods online, since it is convenient and delivery is so fast that you can receive your goods within three days. What's more, logistic has also developed rapidly. And most of experts suggested that logistic is a vast potential market, because the speed of online purchasing is much faster than logistic. So these young people are changing the whole online market, creating millions of jobs and promoting the Chinese online market. Although they may not determine the future of society directly, they do indirectly.
Some young people, however, also have great impacts on the different fields directly. Steve Jobs invented the apple computer at the age of 22, which brought a great innovation to the computer market; Bill Gates created the XP operation system, which changed the computer market totally. Four year ago, Americans were suffering an economic depression. People blamed government for not having superintended the Wall Street. And they want to make a change, so they chose a young president, Obama, to live up to people's expectations. Until a month ago, Obama has increased millions of jobs and unemployment rate is under 10%.
All in all, young people are our society's treasure, they make a great contribution to the society, and in no case should they be neglected. So I consider that young people have great influences on important decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole.
- For Teachers