Please help me improve the following sentences?
My name is Felix Wong, I am 24 years old. I have already graduated from City University of Taiwan with a Bachelor of Science in Physics. During my university era, I acquire lots of practical knowledge of physics and mechanical engineering, which I think, are perfectly related to the job of being a fireman. Also, I like taking part in numerous team oriented sports such as soccer, volleyball, basketball and my physical test score convincingly reflect how strong I am. In fact, I am an outgoing, versatile and passionate people and I think I have great potential to become a capable fireman and a good leader.
Thank you very much!
Calis, thank you for your assistance!
I think that some teachers would be a bit upset with your first sentence, for you have a comma fault that
upsets strict teachers.
They would suggest:
My name is Felix Wong. I am 24 years old.
Actually, you might consider:
I am Felix Wong, age 24. (In American English, we would not say "aged," but I have seen that in British