Would you mind helping me correct this essay – Do you agree or disagree? Thanks.
Would you mind helping me correct this essay? Thank you. I am sorry if I occupy your precious time.
Do you agree or disagree:
It's more important for(Don’t begin with “it”) The government obviously prefer building art museums and music performance centers than to buildto recreational devices such as swimming pools or playgrounds.
With the improvement of living standards of modern people, leisure activities are gaining more popularity, such as going to
theart museums, go theconcerts, or swimming pools. However, as whether it'sis it more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to buildrecreational devices? The answers vary. But for me, building more recreational facilities is more favorable.
Compared with the art museums and music performance centers, recreational facilities can benefit more people. Modern people, especially young people, are undergoing constant pressures, so that they need to find a place to escape the pressures of modern life. Recreational places serve this purpose since people can go to
such places to relax
themselves. Admittedly, some people prefer to visit theconcerts or theart museums to appreciate art. But it just suits a small amount of people. ForThose who don't like art at all, theyare unwilling to go to concerts or museums. On the other hand, all people need to do exercises every day. They might play football or go for a swim with their friends. So if the government gives more subsidies on building more recreational facilities, all the citizens will gain benefit from it. What's more, it also can increase communication between friends.
Art museums and music performance centers require no more money than recreational facilities. There is no doubt that building a museum needs a lot of investment. The art works exhibited in the museums that were bought from artists and the facilities in the concerts such as high quality sounders cost a substantial amount of money. However, it doesn't mean that recreational facilities require fewer subsidies. Take building a swimming pool for example. First the government has to buy a large estate and equip it with modern facilities. And then the swimming pool needs several guards in order to save people from drowning. In addition, training of these guards is
alsonot a small sum of expense either (or: also rather expensive) So building recreational facilities needs more money from the government.
All in all,
sincebuilding recreational facilities brings not only sporting and leisure activities of all kinds but also good health and satisfaction to the community. Of course, needmore money is needed. I reckon that it's more important for the government to build recreational devices than to buildart museums and music performance centers.