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  1. #1
    jiangyueming is offline Junior Member
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    Default Would you mind helping me correct this essey? Thanks.

    Would you mind helping me correct this essey? Thank you. I am sorry if I occupy your precious time.

    Do you agree or disagree:
    It's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational devices (such as swimming pool, playgrounds).

    With the improvement of living standard of modern people, leisure activities are gaining more popularity, such as go to the art museums, go the concerts, or go to the swimming pools. However, as whether it's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational devices. The answers vary. But for me, building more recreational facilities is more favorable.

    Compared with the art museums and music performance center, recreational facilities can benefit more people. Modern people, especially young people, are undergoing many pressures, they need to find a place to escape the pressures. Recreational places serve this purpose. Since they can go to
    recreational places to relax themselves. Admittedly, some people prefer to go the concerts or the art museums to appreciate art. But it just suit a small mount of people. For those who don't like art at all, they are unwilling to go the concerts or museums. On the other hand, all people need to do exercises everyday. They may play football or go to swim with their friends. So if the government gives more subsidies on building more recreational facilities, all the citizen will be beneficial. What's more, it also can increase communication between friends.

    Art museums and music performance center require no more money than recreational facilities. There is no doubt that building a museum needs a lot of investment. The art works exhibited in the museums that were bought from artists and the facilities in the concerts such as sounder with high quality cost substantial money. However, it doesn't mean that recreational facilities deserve less subsidies. Take building a swimming pool for example. First the government has to buy a large estate and equip it with advance facilities. And then the swimming pool needs several guards for the sake of saving people who may drown. What's more, training these guards is also not a small sum of expense. So building recreational facilities needs more money from the government.

    All in all, since building recreational facilities can benefit more ranges of people and need more money. I reckon that it's more important for the government to build recreational devices than to build art museums and music performance center.

  2. #2
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    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: Would you mind helping me correct this essey? Thanks.

    Would you mind helping me correct this essay – Do you agree or disagree? Thanks.

    Would you mind helping me correct this essay? Thank you. I am sorry if I occupy your precious time.

    Do you agree or disagree:
    It's more important for (Don’t begin with “it”) The government obviously prefer building art museums and music performance centers than to build to recreational devices such as swimming pools or playgrounds.

    With the improvement of living standards of modern people, leisure activities are gaining more popularity, such as going to the art museums, go the concerts, or swimming pools. However, as whether it's is it more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational devices? The answers vary. But for me, building more recreational facilities is more favorable.

    Compared with the art museums and music performance centers, recreational facilities can benefit more people. Modern people, especially young people, are undergoing constant pressures, so that they need to find a place to escape the pressures of modern life. Recreational places serve this purpose since people can go to
    such places to relax themselves. Admittedly, some people prefer to visit the concerts or the art museums to appreciate art. But it just suits a small amount of people. For Those who don't like art at all, they are unwilling to go to concerts or museums. On the other hand, all people need to do exercises every day. They might play football or go for a swim with their friends. So if the government gives more subsidies on building more recreational facilities, all the citizens will gain benefit from it. What's more, it also can increase communication between friends.

    Art museums and music performance centers require no more money than recreational facilities. There is no doubt that building a museum needs a lot of investment. The art works exhibited in the museums that were bought from artists and the facilities in the concerts such as high quality sounders cost a substantial amount of money. However, it doesn't mean that recreational facilities require fewer subsidies. Take building a swimming pool for example. First the government has to buy a large estate and equip it with modern facilities. And then the swimming pool needs several guards in order to save people from drowning. In addition, training of these guards is also not a small sum of expense either (or: also rather expensive) So building recreational facilities needs more money from the government.

    All in all, since building recreational facilities brings not only sporting and leisure activities of all kinds but also good health and satisfaction to the community. Of course, need more money is needed. I reckon that it's more important for the government to build recreational devices than to build art museums and music performance centers.

  3. #3
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: Would you mind helping me correct this essey? Thanks.

    Would you mind helping me correct this essay Thanks.

    Would you mind helping me correct this essay? Thank you. I am sorry if I occupy your precious time.

    Do you agree or disagree:
    It's more important for (Don’t begin with “it”) The government obviously prefer building art museums and music performance centers than to build to recreational devices such as swimming pools or playgrounds.

    With the improvement of living standards of modern people, leisure activities are gaining more popularity, such as going to the art museums, go the concerts, or swimming pools. However, as whether it's is it more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational devices? The answers vary. But for me, building more recreational facilities is more favorable.

    Compared with the art museums and music performance centers, recreational facilities can benefit more people. Modern people, especially young people, are undergoing constant pressures, so that they need to find a place to escape the pressures of modern life. Recreational places serve this purpose since people can go to
    such places to relax themselves. Admittedly, some people prefer to visit the concerts or the art museums to appreciate art. But it just suits a small amount of people. For Those who don't like art at all, they are unwilling to go to concerts or museums. On the other hand, all people need to do exercises every day. They might play football or go for a swim with their friends. So if the government gives more subsidies on building more recreational facilities, all the citizens will gain benefit from it. What's more, it also can increase communication between friends.

    Art museums and music performance centers require no more money than recreational facilities. There is no doubt that building a museum needs a lot of investment. The art works exhibited in the museums that were bought from artists and the facilities in the concerts such as high quality sounders cost a substantial amount of money. However, it doesn't mean that recreational facilities require fewer subsidies. Take building a swimming pool for example. First the government has to buy a large estate and equip it with modern facilities. And then the swimming pool needs several guards in order to save people from drowning. In addition, training of these guards is also not a small sum of expense either (or: also rather expensive) So building recreational facilities needs more money from the government.

    All in all, since building recreational facilities brings not only sporting and leisure activities of all kinds but also good health and satisfaction to the community. Of course, need more money is needed. I reckon that it's more important for the government to build recreational devices than to build art museums and music performance centers.

  4. #4
    jiangyueming is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Would you mind helping me correct this essey? Thanks.

    Thanks. Here is a sentence I am a little confused "However, as whether it's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational devices."
    Can I say in this way: "as to the question as to whether it's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational devices, answers vary." Thank you.

  5. #5
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    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: Would you mind helping me correct this essey? Thanks.

    [QUOTE=jiangyueming;863710]Thanks.

    Here is a sentence I am a little confused "However, as to whether it's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational devices."

    No, the sentence is not complete. Maybe: "However, there is some doubt as to whether it's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational devices."

    ---------------------

    Can I say in this way: "as to the question as to whether it's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational devices, answers vary." No, this sentence is not complete either - "as to the question" means "as regards the question" - take "the question is..."

    "The question is as to whether it's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational devices, answers vary."

    Thank you.[/QUOTE]


    februar, no teacher

  6. #6
    jiangyueming is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Would you mind helping me correct this essey? Thanks.

    It doesn't matter. Thanks a lot.

    Someone in this forum suggested me to express in this way:"As to the question of whether it's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational devices, answers vary."

    Is it correct?

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