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Thread: initial purpose

  1. #1
    Ashiuhto is offline Senior Member
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    Default initial purpose

    Please check the following paragraph.

    When I was in elementary school, perhaps Mr. Shi was one of the teachers that I appreciated most. As the time machine brought me back to the schoolyard, the past events were faintly visible. I recalled his diligently teaching and selfless dedication. He acted as a guide to the students, while not pushing them too much. His outlook on education was to help students look for their innocent ego. Therefore, he often took us students out of the classroom to expose to the nature, in the hope of finding the initial purpose of learning as well.

  2. #2
    SlickVic9000's Avatar
    SlickVic9000 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: initial purpose

    (Not a Teacher)

    "I recalled his diligent teaching...."
    --- 'Teaching' is a gerund here, so it does not take adverbs.

    "....to help students look for their innocent ego."
    --- I don't have the faintest clue what you mean by 'innocent ego'. Do you mean something like 'innate curiosity' or 'desire to learn'?

    "Therefore, he often took us students out of the classroom to expose us to the nature in hopes of finding the true purpose of learning as well.

    --- The inclusion of 'students' is superfluous and breaks the flow of the sentence. 'Expose' needs an object here. I prefer the sound of 'in hopes of' to 'in the hope of'. I feel you wanted something like 'true ' or 'primary' instead of 'initial'.

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