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Thread: hi!

  1. #1
    patsy is offline Newbie
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    Red face hi!

    I need your help to improve my english writing,like as essay.

    can you help for this?

    Thanks in advance

    Patsy

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: hi!

    We can help- if you want to post some writing, we'll look at it.

    PS 'like an essay'.

  3. #3
    patsy is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: hi!

    Thanks to you!

    It's a kind of mail.

    I]Hi!
    I'm writing to you to tell you that I'm moving from Vevey to Clarens.
    You knew that I wanted a place more comfortable and with seaview.
    FortunatelyI've found it!
    It's so wonderful ti live here, it's so quiet and the lake is so beutiful.
    I would like ti invite in my new flat,so are free next week?

    Patsy[/I]


    Are there a lot of mistakes?

  4. #4
    patsy is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: hi!

    and this one is a kind of letter.

    Hello Mike,

    In your last letter you asked me which was my favourite programme.
    My favourite programme for me is the theatre programme.
    I love this kind of programmme because it's my passion, Ilove theatre, it's so intensive in emotions more than the cinema.
    When I watched this programme i learned a lot of things as how actors learned their text, meet the director and all person who made some costume.
    This programme explain all of that.
    It's really interesting to learn that, it's a beautiful art, which an actor gives allin emotion to the specatators.
    Thes best art that i've seen of my life
    .

    Tell me if I've made some mistakes
    Thank you very much.

    patsy

  5. #5
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: hi!

    Hi!
    I'm writing to you to tell you that I'm moving from Vevey to Clarens.
    You knew that I wanted a place more comfortable and with seaview.
    FortunatelyI've found it!
    It's so wonderful ti live here, it's so quiet and the lake is so beutiful.
    I would like ti invite in my new flat,so are free next week?

    Patsy


    Are there a lot of mistakes?

    A few:
    a place more comfortable- I'd change the word order to 'a more comfortable place with a seaview'
    I'd use a semi-colon after 'live here' or a dash.
    beutiful- beautiful
    ti -
    to (probably a typo, but you did it twice)
    so are free are you

  6. #6
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: hi!

    Hello Mike,

    In your last letter you asked me which was my favourite programme.
    My favourite programme for me is the theatre programme.
    I love this kind of programmme because it's my passion, Ilove theatre, it's so intensive in emotions more than the cinema.
    When I watched this programme i learned a lot of things as how actors learned their text, meet the director and all person who made some costume.
    This programme explain all of that.
    It's really interesting to learn that, it's a beautiful art, which an actor gives allin emotion to the specatators.
    Thes best art that i've seen of my life
    .

    My favourite programme for me is the theatre programme. -repetitiouMy favourite is the theatre one.
    intensive in emotions more than the cinema -you need some punctuation here
    as how - such as how
    This programme explain- tense
    which an actor- in which
    Thes best This is the best art... all of my life

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