[Grammar] Sentence concision

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a wordy sentence:
A bottle of red wine was order by Grant, even though Marie had had the expectation that he would be placing an order
for a bottle of white wine"

Manhattan says, this one is concise:
"Grant ordered a bottle of red wine, even though Marie had expected him to order a bottle of white wine"

Isnt the following one correct and concise? If not, why?
"Grant ordered a bottle of red wine though Marie had expected a bottle of white wine"

thanks in advance

DA
 

Raymott

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a wordy sentence:
A bottle of red wine was order by Grant, even though Marie had had the expectation that he would be placing an order
for a bottle of white wine"

Manhattan says, this one is concise:
"Grant ordered a bottle of red wine, even though Marie had expected him to order a bottle of white wine"

Isnt the following one correct and concise? If not, why?
"Grant ordered a bottle of red wine though Marie had expected a bottle of white wine"

thanks in advance

DA
Yes, it is correct, and more concise, though it doesn't contain all the information of the original.
"Grant ordered red wine, though Maria expected white." is more concise still.
 
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Thanks Raymott
The sentence doesn't tell who she expected to order the wine - that part is missing I get that now.

~ DA
 
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