Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. #1
    SparkySpot is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Israel
      • Current Location:
      • Israel
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    5
    Post Thanks / Like

    Ielts essay, writing task 2. Please give your opinion, corrections, suggestions

    Due to the new technologies and the internet, radio is going to disappear in a few years.
    Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.

    In our fast developing world there are a lot of new technologies that are being used more often than the old-fashioned ones. The radio, that not so long ago was the main information and communication source has been replaced by television, cellular phones and the internet. It is claimed that the radio will disappear in the closest future. I strongly disagree with this statement.

    All of the media types work on different perceptual channels of people. The radio mainly focuses on the auditory channel and lets the listener to turn his/her imagination. Furthermore, the radio can pass big pieces of information in short period of time. For example, the news broadcasts every hour talk about the main events in the local areas or the traffic situation on the roads. And everyone enjoys good music while riding the car.

    Contrary to this, television and the internet that are widely spread these days use the visual channel more along with the auditory. The colorful images fast shifted and the flashy shows of the television can be very tiring and a person canít watch those for a long time. Thus, not get all the possible information he/she could have. The internet, likewise, uses visual pictures to pass information but in order to get the precise amount of it a deeper exploring must be made and this can take a lot of time.
    To sum up, there are still a lot of positive features to the radio. Although the possibility to get more information through television and the internet exists, the claim that the radio will fade away within a couple of years is not true. Frankly speaking, I think that the radio is very valuable to us and we canít let it vanish from our world.

    294 words

  2. #2
    gaubuxu is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Vietnamese
      • Home Country:
      • Vietnam
      • Current Location:
      • Vietnam
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    3
    Post Thanks / Like

    Wink Re: Ielts essay, writing task 2. Please give your opinion, corrections, suggestions

    In our fast developing world, there are a lot of new technologies that are being used more often than the old-fashioned ones. Not so long ago,the radio that not so long ago that was the main information and communication source has been replaced by television, cellular phones and the internet. It is claimed that the radio will disappear in the closest future. I strongly disagree with this statement.


    All of the media types work on different perceptual channels of people. First of all, the radio mainly focuses on the auditory channel and let the listeners to turn picture in his/her their mindimagination. Furthermore, the radio can pass big pieces of information in short period of time. For example, the news broadcasts every hour talk about the main events in the local areas or the traffic situation on the roads every hour. And everyone enjoys good music while riding driving car.


    Contrary to thisOn the contrary, televisions and the internet thatare widely spread these days and use the visual channel more along with the auditory. The colorful images fast shifted and the flashy shows of the television can be very tiring and a person canít watch those for a long time (not clear and weird). Thus, not get all the possible information he/she could have ( not a completed sentence) . The internet, likewise, uses visual pictures to pass information but in order to get the precise amount of it a deeper exploring must be made and this can take a lot of time.


    To sum up, there are still a lot of positive features to of the radio. Although the possibility to get more information through television and the internet exists ( not clear ), the claim that the radio will fade away within a couple of years is not true. Frankly speaking, I think that the radio is very valuable to us and we canít let it vanish from our world.


    your essay is not good, it is not strong enough to convince others
    you should learn by heart the methods of writing a good paragrapth first before writing an essay. You have good ideas but you need to express them more clearly and more naturally
    you must notice to phrase words, structure of sentences, and grammar

Similar Threads

  1. [Essay] I write an essay of ielts exam.Please give me some suggestions. Thank you
    By sissi1990 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 30-Mar-2012, 15:40
  2. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 30-Mar-2012, 10:24
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-Mar-2012, 12:23
  4. [Essay] IELTS Task 1 - which Band would you give?
    By bb_girl in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-Jan-2011, 11:53
  5. [Essay] Please give some comments on my IELTS writing task 2
    By gdzack in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-Feb-2009, 07:14

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •