Any Tips on Managing Difficult Behaviours in Adults?

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PiggyInClover

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Hello Teachers

I've got some difficult adult behaviour going on in one class. Any tips on improving conflicted dynamics would be much appreciated. Thanking you in advance!

Class Profile
2 students of different language levels - the middle ground is pre-int.
Main Course Objective: Speaking and Listening
Lesson Frequency: 1 hr a week
No. of Lessons completed so far: 12

Student Profiles
Student A: female, aged 48, intermediate, general learning attitude and behaviour: positive, keen, motivated, enthusiastic, polite, respectful, appreciative and responsive
Student B: female, aged 59, elementary, general learning attitude and behaviour: negative, anxious, under-confident, under-performing, mistrustful, rebellious, competitive, needy, controlling, stonewalling/silent or hostile/argumentative (towards me; not towards the other student), often refuses to participate, hypercritical, questions 'the point' of (nearly all) activities, says she doesn't have time to study, wants to quit (but doesn't).

Obviously, my difficulty is with Student B!

Techniques I have used to try and improve the situation:
  • Lots of praise and encouragement
  • Bespoke materials with topics they're personally interested in (related to hobbies or lifestyle, etc.)
  • Emphasis on fluency rather than accuracy
  • Emphasis on lexical skills rather than grammar structures
  • Language learning needs analysis questionnaires & feedback
  • Identifying learning resources outside the classroom; trying to encourage autonomous learning
  • Identifying emotive affects of learning
  • VAK Learning style questionnaires - reinforcing individual learning styles
  • Progress testing rather than performance testing
  • Changing dynamics, e.g. where they sit in class/where I sit; less homework / more homework; using L1 vs total immersion; different materials - authentic vs academic; using relaxing music/candles ...

Nothing works on her!

I know that sometimes a teacher has to wave a white flag and say to oneself "there's nothing more I can do", but perhaps there is something I could do that I haven't thought of yet.

And I know that students (especially adult students) have to share some responsibility for what goes on the classroom too - what they put in, they get back, etc. I am not sure that Student B knows this though! (Or cares?)

An added problem is that Student B's negativity is contagious. It creates a bad atmosphere and that's beginning to affect Student A's motivation too. Student A is a genial people-pleaser, and it's only natural that she should try to support Student B and ally with her. Result: an increasingly difficult class; not very conducive to learning.

I should also mention that I am teaching this class for free as a favour to a friend! So it's not as if they are 'wasting' money! It's entirely up to them to come or not. I could choose to terminate the class if I wanted to, but as long as they keep coming I will persevere. It would be nice if Student B just smiled once in a while!

:-(

Any helpful tips appreciated. Thanks again in advance.

Piggy in Clover
 

5jj

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Welcome to the forum, PiggyInClover. :hi:

I am afraid that's the only useful thing I can say. You seem to have done your best - rather more than I would have done, I think. This old cynic would have given up six lessons ago, especially if I were doing it free, as a favour to a friend. If Student B doesn't have the common courtesy to show some form of civilised behaviour in return for what she is receiving, then (expletive deleted) her.
 

moonlike

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Hi
Welcome to the forum. You've done a great job. The following is an extract of loads of articles I have regarding misbehavior in class. Unfortunately I can't remember the website. If you liked it i can paste more of them for you. However you've done a lot and you're a great teacher. I do apologize for some mistakes in the following extract because I've just copied and pasted it for you.
Good luck
P.S Sorry, it's too long also.


  1. http://www.disciplinehelp.com/teacher/detail.cfm?behaviorID=72&title=The Nonparticipator&step=Action
 
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emsr2d2

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Quick one (and apologies if it's in the long list above but I don't have time to read that) - a friend of mine told me that she managed to get an unresponsive student engaged by asking that student to give a class to the teacher in her (the student's) own language. The teachers asked the other students to behave as if they didn't speak their native language and allow the student-cum-teacher to really get on with it.

Apparently, the student wasn't initially keen but did it and turned out to be really good. Afterwards, she said she hadn't really understood how difficult it was or what it was like to stand up the front and actually run the class but she'd got a better understanding of what it was about and, particularly, why it's so demoralising to have students in your class who aren't joining in.
 

Esredux

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Quick one (and apologies if it's in the long list above but I don't have time to read that) - a friend of mine told me that she managed to get an unresponsive student engaged by asking that student to give a class to the teacher in her (the student's) own language. The teachers asked the other students to behave as if they didn't speak their native language and allow the student-cum-teacher to really get on with it.

Apparently, the student wasn't initially keen but did it and turned out to be really good. Afterwards, she said she hadn't really understood how difficult it was or what it was like to stand up the front and actually run the class but she'd got a better understanding of what it was about and, particularly, why it's so demoralising to have students in your class who aren't joining in.

:up: One more point to add, it seldom helps to work harder than the students, only few of them can appreciate the teacher's work. The consumer's attitude such students bring into class is a true joy- and study-killer.
 

Tdol

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Hi
If you liked it i can paste more of them for you

Please don't copy and paste articles here- it's against copyright laws. Our site is based in the UK, where copyright laws are very strict. You can post extracts as quotes under fair use, but not the whole thing. Also, please always credit sources. Thank you.
 

moonlike

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Thanks dear Tdol to insert the link above. You've done a great job.
 

Tdol

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I am afraid that's the only useful thing I can say. You seem to have done your best - rather more than I would have done, I think. This old cynic would have given up six lessons ago, especially if I were doing it free, as a favour to a friend. If Student B doesn't have the common courtesy to show some form of civilised behaviour in return for what she is receiving, then (expletive deleted) her.

I agree completely. You have obviously gone to a lot of trouble and tried many things. If that's how she feels, I would walk away and let her go and pay for some lessons elsewhere.
 

PiggyInClover

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Many thanks for all your support, feedback, ideas and suggestions, which seem to fall into two camps: (a) throw in the towel and quit, (b) problem-solving.

Thank you also for the link to the article, which I read with great interest. Much of it is relevant.

I have never given up on a difficult student, apart from one kid 15 years ago - a 5-year-old with severe conduct disorder. After that kid deliberately urinated on my carpet (laughing demonically at me), I refused to carry on teaching her! This is not the same situation of course. I hope! ;-)

Adults do regress in the classroom, and in this particular case, Student B - aged 59 - has not been in a classroom for about 40 years. I suspect she has preconceived ideas of what teacher should be doing, which I do not fulfill for her. She is not used to communicative methods of language learning, and possibly finds my whole touchy-feely, mistake-tolerant, classroom feedback approach rather bewildering. The dysfunctional part of her behaviour is that she responds to my methods with anger. Her thinking may be: "If I'm not having a good time, then no one will." She may even get some sort of perverse satisfaction or feeling of control out of that.

You have to wonder why any adult would continue attending a class when it is (a) free (b) such an unpleasant and stressful experience for her. I suspect that she equates quitting with a loss of face.

Therefore, I have to allow her an exit strategy which does not mean 'defeat'. Aiming for a win-win.

I thought about introducing a charge (money). This would allow Student B to evaluate very precisely whether she wants to continue. It would also give her an excuse to say, "sorry, can't afford that" with a more graceful exit rather than "I can't handle it" or "I just don't like you" ! Paying for the class would also inject a degree of equality into the exchange. Part of her frustration might be about feelings of guilt that she cannot, at present, reciprocate.

One teacher I have spoken to thinks that to start charging them now is unfair, given that they only entered into the classes on the understanding that they were free. That teacher also thinks I am conflating the two students, penalising Student A because of Student B's behaviour.

I get his point, but Student A is influenced by Student B anyway. If they both don't want to pay and quit, it lets us all off the hook (easy life!). If they accept, it might help Student B to feel like she is making a personal investment into her own learning, and therefore has to try harder to 'get her money's worth'.

That's a very interesting point that Esgaleth made: "it seldom helps to work harder than the students".

Thank you for all your thoughts. This forum has been very helpful for me to think things through.

Hugs,
Piggy
:cool:
 

PiggyInClover

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Problem solved -- the "difficut" student has just emailed me to say she is quitting.

<Phew> in some ways. Disappointing in others. I wish I could have got through to her.

I am not sure where that leaves the other adult student. I guess that's up to her.

We are all on a learning curve! I've been teaching language since the mid '90s. Still learning!

Thank you all for your support.
 

Esredux

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Congratulations.
No point in feeling regrets - this age group is truly demanding even with a good rapport. Take my word for it! At times I wish I could skip this class.
 

PiggyInClover

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Managing Difficult Behaviours in Adults

You're absolutely right, you can't win them all. And yes, adults can be more challenging or just as challenging as children.

What I have learned from this experience is that it is not a good idea to teach for free. On the surface it sounds like one is being altruistic and doing good, but in fact it imbalances the equation. Quid pro quo.

Thanks again for your feedback and help. What a great forum!

Happy teaching.

Hugs,
Piggy
:)
 

bwkcaj_ca

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Based on the information you've provided I suspect the problem is simply that the weaker student resents the fact that her classmate can "do" English better than she can. If so, changing your teaching techniques isn't likely to improve the situation. Since a class of
two is really a tutoring situation, one approach might be to teach them individually thereby removing the the competitive element.
Give them each half an hour, alternate weeks etc.

If that is not possible I can only suggest what I do when I find myself teaching a class of students with significantly diffferent skill levels. Emphasize that learning a language doesn't put you in competition with other sutdents but only with yourself. So it really doesn't matter if someone else can function better that you.

Finally, I would make it very clear to both students that I am teaching them for free. In return I expect them to display the same kind of respect and courtesy that I give to them. It should be clear to them that they must be cooperative and motivated if they wish the
class to continue.
 

PiggyInClover

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Managing Difficult Behaviours in Adults

Spot on, bwk. Very wise words. Their different levels was a recurring issue and cause of anxiety for Student B, which she did express on several occasions. She is competitive by nature and hated the fact that Student A was 'better' than her, perhaps not only in terms of language level or learning skills, but also a nicer personality! As she could not blame Student A for that, she transferred her resentment onto me - the 'parent' figure.

Mixed level classes are never particularly easy and the teacher ends up having to do a juggling act. The subversive part of this case is that Student B tried to spoil it for all of us. I honestly do not think she was all that interested in language learning, either solo or with other students of the same level, or even with another teacher. She said herself she has "no time" for it. And she did not really have a strong personal reason or motive to learn, other than the vague idea that she was 'supposed' to do it. She has now quit, so it's not my problem any more. (Hooray!) :-D

Many thanks for all your support and suggestions, which I will certainly bear in mind in future. One thing I won't be doing any more is teaching for free!

Best wishes,
Piggy
 

emsr2d2

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Problem solved -- the "difficut" student has just emailed me to say she is quitting.

Out of curiosity, did you email her back and ask for feedback? Now that she knows she doesn't have to see you again, she might feel able to give her reasons for apparently not enjoying the classes. If you tell her (truly or otherwise) that you're disappointed that she felt the need to quit, then you can ask her why she did so. If you couch it in terms of you trying to improve your teaching skills etc etc, she might actually feel that she can tell you honestly what was going on in her head each class. Of course, you might not get a reply at all and she might lie but if you don't ask, you don't get!
 

PiggyInClover

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@ emsr
Thanks for your interest. The reason she gave in her email was that she would be "too busy" in the next couple of months, with house guests from abroad, plus going away on holiday for a couple of weeks. She said that she felt that her absence would be "too disruptive", and that it would be difficult for her to catch up afterwards.

Now we both know that this is just an excuse (a lie). If she had really wanted to continue studying but was worried about missing a few hours, she could have (a) suggested changing the day and time to suit her [which I am sure the other student and I would have been open to] (b) asked for extra homework to make up the lessons missed (c) expressed some satisfaction and gratitude at what she thinks she has gained so far. But none of those occurred.

The irony is that she thinks her absence would be disruptive to her learning, but it was her presence that was more disruptive to the class!

Her real reason for quitting was stated in another email sent 2 weeks earlier, before she quit. She said she felt the class was way above her level (possibly true). She also said that because the lessons were free, she had imagined just free conversation, and did not expect me to put in so much effort into preparing the lessons, in the way that I did. She said she felt she could not do my lessons "justice" because she was not putting in, and 'could not' put in any study time at home. She was honest enough to say that she did not think that would change for her. She wanted me to take the decision for her - to let her off the hook and say: "yes, it's better that you quit".

Of course I would never dismiss a student purely on those emotive grounds. I gave her individual feedback and tried to encourage her and support her in her anxieties. I told her that I wanted her to continue learning, and that it would help her if she focused more on the process, less on the goal. And not compare herself to the other "better" student all the time. She quit anyway. So her mind was made up a while ago - she just couldn't admit to 'surrendering'. And in the interim, tried to make it as unpleasant as possible for everyone else.

Yes, my initial reaction was disappointment, but in conclusion, I'm honestly not that unhappy about her resignation! At the end of the day, it makes my life easier, and the other student's. So big <phew> all round!

It's not always necessarily a bad thing for a student to withdraw. Sometimes, both (adult) student and teacher have to face the reality that it's just not working for a whole host of reasons. I think it takes some level of maturity to recognise that and to be able to let go. It's not necessarily a teacher's job to persuade an adult student to do something he/she doesn't really want to do. Adult students have to take responsibility for their own learning too.

Interesting to think about it though. Thanks for your input.

Happy teaching! :cool:
 

PiggyInClover

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Yes, many emails were exchanged over the course of her study about her anxieties.
The final outcome is that she quit and that's okay.
Sometimes one just has to let go. It might be best for her too.
 
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