[Essay] Please proofread my review

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florin1990

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-give your opinion about a show
-suggest why you think the participants agree to take part
-say why you think people watch this programme
Please tell me if I managed to complete the task,if I used an appropriate language,vocabulary and other observations.
Thank you.


Keeping Up with the Kardashians

I have watched many reality TV shows during those last few years, some of them more interesting than others,but I have to say that Keeping Up with the Kardashians is by far the most ridiculous.

In this show you have tha Kardashians and their day-by-day life.The main character is Kim,the most famous person in the family,who runs a fashion store with her sisters in Miami.They all leave under the same roof and have to get along with each other but rarely this happens and very episode starts with yeallings,screamings and other things like this.However until the end of the episode everything solves and this is what really bothers me: the lack of realism even though it is called a reality show.In real situations things are far more complicated and do not vanish in 30 minutes.

Why would people take part in something like this?Maybe because they like the idea of being on TV,maybe because it is a kind of personal experience.From my point of view the reason for doing such a show have to be the fame and the publicity which are benefical for the their business and let's not forget the considerable amount of money paid by TV channels.

In my opinion,people watch this programme for several reasons.For some of them it can be a kind of relaxation.They enjoy watching how stars live their lifes,how they react in different situations,where they spend their vacations.For others it can be a good oportunity to critise or because they like a person in the programme and feel they have to defend them against accusations.

As far as I am concerned,this programme is nothing but boring and repetitive but I encourage people to watch to judge for themselves.
 

Barb_D

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Quite good, actually.

Leave a space after your punctuation marks.
You make deliberate use of fragments, which to me sounds very natural, but your teacher may object and require full sentences.
Put the name of the show in italics or quotes.

This sentence is too long - From my point of view the reason for doing such a show have to be the fame and the publicity which are benefical for the their business and let's not forget the considerable amount of money paid by TV channels.

It also has the one g rammatical flaw I saw: "reason.. have." Either "...the reasons have to be X and Y" or "...the reason has to be X&Y "(you consider X and Y completely linked.
 
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