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  1. #1
    gaubuxu is offline Newbie
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    Post please help me editing essay ! i am a newcomer, thanks a lot.

    Topic: A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence in your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position


    My city is a wonderful place that attracted many tourists on over the world. There are a lot of beautiful and peaceful landscape, among of them are seas which is voted by international, prestige and well- known magazine. There for, if a company would like to build a large factory near my community, I think it will sparks a controversy between the losses and the gains. In my opinion, the disadvantage will be over the advantages, however.


    To begin with, building a large factory brings us some advantages because this overall investment will boost the economy in many directions. First of all, it will create more new jobs for our community which has a youth population, then; labors would have many jobs options. Secondly, together with starting a business, such a large factory, infrastructure would be carried out. That means our community would have a more modern and industrial face; this, in turn, would attracted more potential invests into my city.


    On the other hand, having a large factory near our community is disadvantages in several ways. Firstly, the environment will be change in bad ways. Industrial wastes from factory such as toxic and dirty water and smoke are released into water flows, and atmosphere. People’s health in my city will be affected in long-term, especially children who are easy to get sick. Secondly, local administration has to face with recovering polluted environment in the future, which costs huge money and many labors. Thirdly, polluted environment have a negative effect to a number of tourists, and then to the come from tourism and services annually. Our city would not take advantage of the beauty nature of the seas at all because tourists do not like to enjoy an nice beaches but polluted. This is a large loss not only for the income of our community but also for our countries.


    In short, beside a few advantages that the project provides, the disadvantages are need to be concern due to the environment, the health of people in long –term. In light of the disadvantage, I believe that i should oppose this company building their factory near my community.

  2. #2
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: please help me editing essay ! i am a newcomer, thanks a lot.

    Welcome to Using English.

    If this is an assignment that you are supposed to turn in to your teacher, it would not be fair for us to help you. Your teacher needs to see what you can do on your own, and won't know how to help you learn if you turn in a paper without any mistakes.

    However, after you turn it in, if your teacher has made comments you don't understand (or don't agree with), then please post your questions about that here and we will help you understand them.

    (Is it really the case that factories there can pollute the air, ground, and water, without any responsibility? There are many factories that take great pride in how sustainably they operate, without polluting the air, without contaminating the ground, and only discharging water that has been cleaned so that it matches the local water.)
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. #3
    gaubuxu is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: please help me editing essay ! i am a newcomer, thanks a lot.

    helo Bard ! thanks a lot for your comments
    i plan to get TOEFL test on the next few months but my writing is so awful; therefore i hope through some website like this i can improve my writing skill. If you can give me some addvice in my essay i appriciate that ^^
    P/S: this is not an assignment that i hand on to my teacher, i just look up a topic and practice by myself.

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