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  1. #1
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    Jul 2005
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    Default Do they sound OK ?

    Please check those sentences and make them more English-like ! I am not convinced whether or not they sound OK to native speakers.

    He and his like-minded friends ganged up against the authority and soon gained widespread notoriety.

    Shifts in both sides ’ political ideologies turned out to be very radical and hence facilitated a smoother negotiation process. A compromise is estimated to be reached in the next talk.

    There is a good deal of evidence that this company is in a phase of bonanza and its future looks promisingly lucrative.

    After his harsh speech delivered at the inauguration ceremony, the new president came under much criticism from the rival party.

    This country’s children are heavily suffering from severe malnutrition. It is suggested that this is a natural outcome of a recent bad harvest.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Do they sound OK ?

    Quote Originally Posted by hookeba
    Please check those sentences and make them more English-like ! I am not convinced whether or not they sound OK to native speakers.
    I will try, but (as always) my answers are not necessarily the best possible :)
    Quote Originally Posted by hookeba
    He and his like-minded friends ganged up against the authority and soon gained widespread notoriety.
    Without the context, I am not sure the authority is correct. 'ganged up against authority' = they ganged up against all authority; ganged up against the authorities = they ganged up against any or all representatives of the authorites (ie the state, the police, the government, the army...); but against the authority suggests that they only ganged up against a particular, singular, and probably local authority - something insignificant like a Local Education Authority.
    Quote Originally Posted by hookeba
    Shifts in both sides’ political ideologies turned out to be very radical and hence facilitated a smoother negotiation process. A compromise is estimated to be reached in the next talk.
    is expected is better than is estimated. Estimates are usually calculated predictions.
    Quote Originally Posted by hookeba
    There is a good deal of evidence that this company is in a phase of bonanza and its future looks promisingly lucrative.
    a phase of bonanza sounds awkward; a bonanza phase is better. promisingly lucrative is not good. Suggested correction: its future looks promising and lucrative
    Quote Originally Posted by hookeba
    After his harsh speech delivered at the inauguration ceremony, the new president came under much criticism from the rival party.
    a lot of criticism is better than much criticism to the native ear.
    Quote Originally Posted by hookeba
    This country’s children are heavily suffering from severe malnutrition. It is suggested that this is a natural outcome of a recent bad harvest.
    Well, suffering heavily sounds better than heavily suffering, but I do not think 'heavily' is necessary or desirable. If they are suffering from severe malnutrition they cannot be suffering 'lightly', so the best improvement would be to lose the word altogether.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Do they sound OK ?

    Thanks for the valuable help from you, teacher ! This forum is great !!!

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