Problems with percentages

[ARUK2008]

This sentence sounds so weird but I can't find a way to improve it. I'd like to avoid using "With+percentage"

"...is constituted by Middle East with 56.52 % and Canada with 14.48 % while Central and South America (8.12 %), Eastern Europe (6.58 %), Africa (6.38 %) and Asia (2.89 %)"

 

[5jj]

To make useful suggestions, we need the whole sentence.

 

[ARUK2008]

Thank you 5jj.

"Globally, over 70 % of the oil resources are concentrated in two different areas constituted by Middle East with 56.52 % and Canada with 14.48 % while a further 25% of global oil reserves is represented by Central and South America (8.12 %), Eastern Europe (6.58 %), Africa (6.38 %) and Asia (2.89 %)"

 

[SoothingDave]

Thank you 5jj.

"Globally, over 70 % of the oil resources are concentrated in two different areas constituted by Middle East with 56.52 % and Canada with 14.48 % while a further 25% of global oil reserves is represented by Central and South America (8.12 %), Eastern Europe (6.58 %), Africa (6.38 %) and Asia (2.89 %)"

I think we already know that the Middle East and Canada are 2 different areas.

You could say "... are concentrated in the Middle East (56.52%) and Canada (14.48%)..."

Better yet, this seems to be a good use for a table of data. Make the point about 70% being in the ME and Canada, and put all of the other numbers into a separate table.

 

[ARUK2008]

Thank you Dave but that's not the problem in here. This belong to an IELTS task 1 report and I need help rewording: "represented by Central and South America (8.12 %), Eastern Europe (6.58 %), Africa (6.38 %) and Asia (2.89 %)" without using South America with 8.12%, Eastern Europe with 6.58%, Africa with 6.38%...too many WITH WITH WITH...everywhere!

 

[SoothingDave]

I don't think there is a better way. I would use parentheses before I would use a series of "withs."

 

[5jj]

Globally, over 70 % of the world's oil resources are concentrated in two main areas, the Middle East with 56.52 % and Canada with 14.48 %; of a further 25% of global oil reserves 8.12% comes from Central and South America, 6.58% from Eastern Europe, 6.38% from Africa, and 2.89% from Asia.

How does that sound?

 

[ARUK2008]

Yes! Wow! It sounds so much better! Thank you Ajj! :up:

 

[Barb_D]

Um... the Middle East is in Asia. So whe you later say "Asia" do you mean central and eastern Asia, or something else?

 

[SoothingDave]

Um... the Middle East is in Asia.

Only technically.

I think most Americans think of "Asia" only as the Far East. It always strikes me as odd to hear a British person describe someone from India, for example, as "Asian."

 

[ARUK2008]

That's a good point Barb! This belongs to a IELTS report. Here's the graph: