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    #1

    Thumbs up Can you help me correct these sentences? Thank you!

    I prefer to study aboard, because my major is marketing. Studying aboard gives me a better sense of global marketing. I can learn some practical experiences which can help me make better decisions of my company in the future. What’s more, there are many famous marketing professors in America. They created many marketing theories. It will be very enjoyable to consult with them.

    • Member Info
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    #2

    Re: Can you help me correct these sentences? Thank you!

    ***** NOT A TEACHER *****


    As you know, I am no writer, but I humbly suggest that the first two sentences are repetitive.

    Do you think that these two sentences are "good" writing: I love television because it is interesting. Television is interesting because

    it has good shows. (I am sure that you yelled, "No way!")

    I think that writing teachers tell us to get to the point in the first sentence. You say that marketing is your major. So I think that

    your first sentences should be combined into one sentence, something such as:

    Marketing is my major, so I prefer to study abroad, where I can get a better sense of globalization. Such hands-on experience

    will help me to make more effective decisions for my company when I return home. The United States, for example, has

    renown professors of marketing, of whom many have developed very insightful theories. I am eager to attend their lectures.


    *****

    "Hands-on experience" is -- currently -- a very popular term here in the States. It means to have practical experience -- not

    just book studies in a classroom. For example, there is a very important world leader (no name, of course) who claims that he

    can speak French. But when some French reporters spoke to him in that beautiful language, he could not understand their

    questions. In other words, he knows French in theory. In reality, he does not.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
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      • British English
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      • UK
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    #3

    Re: Can you help me correct these sentences? Thank you!

    Check on your use of "aboard". It's not the word you're looking for.

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