Hello, I'm trying to write and edit some topics on my way could help me with that please

This is the original text.
The chart shows the results of some students who were interviewed about their ability to live away from home. It also shows the differences between male and female students. We can see that 80 per cent of male students didn't know who to wash clothes, while the percentage of females who could not do laundry was 25 per cent less. Female students have a lot more clothes than males. Not many students could cook for themselves: only 10 per cent of the males and 20 per cent of the females. The majority of female students eat fast food instead of cooking, and even more males live on fast food: almost two out of three do this. There are many fast food outlets around the campus. Very few male students know how to iron their clothes, but 20 per cent of females knew how to operate a vacuum cleaner. Vacuum cleaners use a lot of electricity.

and This is mine.
The chart shows the result of survey of students who comes overseas and live away from home about their ability to do housework and between the male and female students. As we see the 80 per cent of male students can't do wash clothes, while the percentage of females who couldn't do laundry is 20 per cent less. Many students don't know how to cook and they prefer fast food instead of home food, only 10 per cent of the males and 20 per cent of the females know how to cook, So it conclude that students live on fast food. Though they have launderettes in their accommodation a few students know how to iron their clothes whether they male or female. If we look after the home cleaning we recognize that a 20 per cent of females and 10 per cent of males know how to operate vacuum cleaner.