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  1. #1
    jessie_0217 is offline Newbie
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    please check my toefl essay,thanks

    With the improvement of standard living conditions of modern people, more and more people will pay attention to the successful life. Therefore, the method of being successful becomes an essential part of human life, and this is where controversy arises. Some people argue that successful people try new things and take risks. Meanwhile, others claim that successful people are only doing what they know how to do well. From my perspective, the former one is reasonable.
    There are several reasons of critical importance which I will try to emphasize. The first one I want to put forward is that nowadays modern society highly needs some elicits who are brave and full of ambition to meet the demand. In other words, people who are willing to try new things and take risks have more opportunities to access to success. It is not uncommon that people always are keen on trying new products to experience something new we have never experienced before, which definitely can enrich our life. As a result, someone who are crazy about try new things are surely likely to become success.

    Another reason I can not ignore is that taking risks and experience new things can undoubtedly favorable for people to expand their overlook, which is an effective avenue for people to look at the outside world with a wider perspective. Imagine if all the people are able to tolerate mundane and boring occupations, in my opinion, our society is no where to develop at all. Taking risks is a precious treasure for people who are dreaming of successful, for the reason is that at the time when we suffer from the same embarrassing situations, the cherish experience can certainly helpful for us to cope with the difficulties.

    Granted trying new things and taking risks is considerably importance for successful people, but we can not neglect that only doing what we know how to do well also have some slight strength. For example, due to the failure, some people loss confidence and they can not believe themselves. As a result, they are afraid of trying new things and taking risks. Furthermore, some people even struggle with some mental diseases including insomnias. Moreover, not surprisingly, a great majority of people loss a considerable deal of money.

    With all the reasons I explained above, it is apparent to draw the conclusion that it is essential for successful people to try new things and take risks. For the reason is that taking risks and trying something new which make it possible for human beings to expand their horizons and meet the demand of modern society can give rise to success.

  2. #2
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    februar is offline Member
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    Re: please check my toefl essay,thanks

    please check my toefl essay, thanks

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The influence from classmates is more important than that from the parents

    Nowadays, we grow up in the an environment that in which other people easily exert considerable influence on us, and this is where controversy arises. Some people consider that the influence from classmates is more important than that from the parents. Meanwhile, others argue that the impact from our parents is more essential than that from classmates. From my perspective, the latter one is (Or: seems) more reasonable.

    There are several reasons of critical importance which I will try to emphasize. The first one I want to put forward is that chums (Or: friends) come and go, while our parents is are the ones who we spend our most time with. During this period of time, there is no doubt that the method of our parents to cope with difficulties provides the possibilities for us to intimate familiarize ourselves with the subject. Life abounds with such examples; my friend, Tina, whose parents always try to treat their guests as their family members, in other words, her parents is are warm-hearted persons. As a result, Tina, not surprisingly, always try to invite her friends to come to visit her home and treat me like her sister.

    Another reason I cannot ignore is that parents have the most influence on us when we are little and that is in particular the time for us to be influenced easily when we are easy to influence. As we grow up, we are mature enough to resist some negative influence on us including smoking and playing video games. Therefore, we develop some habits unconsciously when we are little, that is the reason why many experts emphasize that parents are supposed to be build up an excellent model to their children. What I mean is that it provides more chances for children to form bad habits when they are little, which undoubtedly do harm to their future development.

    Granted the influence from our parents is more important than from the classmates, but no one can deny that our classmates in some degree also have some slight impact on us. For example, my classmate, Victor is willing to have always takes a nap after having lunch. Admittedly, his habit can contribute to build up a strong body, but he always makes noise when he sleeps and consequently for his surrounding people including me are there is nowhere for us a quiet corner to concentrate on our study at noon. Therefore, we are obliged to change our study schedule.

    With all the reasons I explained above, it is apparent to draw the conclusion that the influence from our parents is more important than that from the classmates. For the reason is (Or: That is to say) that not only do we spend most time with our parents, but also our parents have surprisingly a significant influence on us when we are easy to be influence (Or: in the formative years of our childhood.)
    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The influence from classmates is more important than that from the parents.

    februar, no teacher
    Last edited by februar; 06-May-2012 at 14:48.

  3. #3
    Hooks is offline Newbie
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    Re: please check my toefl essay,thanks

    I believe you should make a better intro to grab reader's attention, try to use some hooks for essays - a quote for example.

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