Could anyone help with this essay?
This is a TOEFL iBT topic. I am currently practicing writing. Thereby, I need your help folks :)
Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Help me please. I need your suggestions.Regards
For young men and women, being away from their families and experiencing life could be the best thing to do for various
delightful and enjoyablereasons. Two of them are that young people are especially attracted by delightful and enjoyable places. However, it is not my preference for plenty of reasons which I will discuss in this essay.
spentspend most of their lives seeking their children’s happiness. It is good for young adults tooto do the same in return, so they should take care of their parents. As is widely known, elderlyolder people need someone to look after them as if they were infants. For instance, I live now in the U.S.A and my mind is busy thinking of my mother, because she is sick. Even though my siblings are with her; that does not make me feel better. In fact, what does make me feel better is when I prepare her breakfast, reading some booksread from a book andsitting next to her, and give her her (Or: the) medications. These kinds of activities make me feel satisfied with myself. It will help them me to cope with the harsh realities of life.
Moreover, from a financial perspective, living conditions of young adults
livingwithwho live with their parents isare more beneficial. It will help them to handle life's difficulties (Or: …to cope with the harsh realities of life.) - (This sentence doesn’t fit here, because: what is the difficulty if the parents pay your bills? I put it above the previous sentence) For example, I lived with my parents until I got married at the age of nineteen, I did not have to pay any bellsbills and contracts at all, nor any other household needs. Even my cellphone bills used to be paid forby my parents (Or: My parents used to even pay my cellphone bills.) When living with parents, starving after reachingat home is something which never happens. Unlike living away, living with your mom lets you have meals that give you the daily nutrition and energy to start your day.
In addition, giving attention to whatever is happening is not the young adult’s responsibility.
They will beThus, many of them want to go out discovering the world they live in. ThusHowever, there should bethey should not leave their home without a base from which they can have everything they might need.
In summary, living with one's parents would be the best for both the parents and the children, thus, will cause less trouble for young adults and parents in facing
februar, no teacher