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  1. #1
    aly. is offline Newbie
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    Unhappy important: Motivational letter.

    Hi there,

    I was informed yesterday that I need to write a motivational letter and it needs to be handed in on the 21 May 2012. Please can someone check it for me, I have never written one before so I'm not entirely sure if it even stands as a motivational letter.

    thank you for your time

    regards
    Aly


    Dear Sir or Madam:

    I am applying to your Undergraduate programme, BSc in Biological Sciences, starting in the second semester, 23 July 2012. My career ambition is to become a doctor and develop a hospital in an under-privileged community.



    High school was a great challenge for me, due to mylack of foundation in mathematics and physics. I was in an ‘ACE’ school from Grade 6-11, which further led to my academic skills being underdeveloped due to their ‘work at your own pace’ system. When I was in Grade 11, I became aware that the mathematics I did was that of a Grade 8 learner. In the fourth term of 2006, I was transferred to Grade 10, at Felixton College, where my main subjects were mathematics and physics. I was told to drop the subjects, as they believed I would never pass. In the second term, of 2007, I was transferred to Empangeni High School, where I took mathematics, biology, visual art and physics. This was a huge leap for me and passing these subjects required great dedication, perseverance and hard work. I matriculated in 2008 with a BD (bachelor’s degree) and gained University entrance.

    I furthered my academic career at Stellenbosch University in 2009, with the study of BSc in Biological Sciences (the Extended Degree Programme). In 2010, there was an armed robbery on our farm, in Kwa-Zulu Natal, which led to my failure in all first semester modules. In spite of this, I was approved to continue with the second semester; however another armed robbery forced me to leave in Q3.

    I took an 18 month gap year and during that time I was fortunate to experience a short course in nursing in which I did my student practice at the Intensive Care unit at the Bay Hospital, in KZN, for 6months. The exposure to critical patients and the gratitude one receives after helping someone survive a serious medical condition, intensely focused my career ambition, however not as a nurse but as a doctor. I gained some practical working experience, too. From August 2011- December 2011, I worked at a pre- school and from April 2011 – August 2011, I worked for a Bidvest company.

    I have gained admission at Stellenbosch University, starting in the second semester, 23 July 2012, however because my younger brother is studying at your University; it would be more convenient if I too, could study at the University of Pretoria. Furthermore, this would be a great experience due to your outstanding educational system as well as your excellent facilities.

    Given my past history of perseverance and dedication, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your programme. I am sure to exceed your expectations because of both my career ambition and interpersonal skills. I will enrich the programme by enabling fellow students to benefit from my ambitions and open nature.

    Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to your acceptance.

    Sincerely yours,

  2. #2
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: important: Motivational letter.

    important: Motivational letter.

    Hi there ,

    I was informed yesterday that I need to write a motivational letter and it needs to be handed in on the 21 May 2012. Please can someone check it for me, I have never written one before so I'm not entirely sure if it even stands as a motivational letter.

    thank you for your time

    regards
    Aly


    Dear Sir or Madam: (Try to find out the name)

    I am applying for your undergraduate programme, BSc in Biological Sciences, starting in the second semester, 23 July 2012. My career ambition is to become a doctor and develop a hospital in an under-privileged community.

    High school was a great challenge for me, due to my lack of basic knowledge of mathematics and physics. I was in (Or: attended) an ‘ACE’ school from grade 6-11 which further led to my academic skills being underdeveloped due to their ‘work at your own pace’ system. (Or: whose full and tight timetable had a negative effect on my academic skills) When I was in grade 11, I became aware that the mathematics I did was that of a grade 8 learner. In the fourth term of 2006, I was transferred to grade 10, at Felixton College, where my main subjects were mathematics and physics. I was told to drop the subjects, as they believed I would never pass. In the second term, (no comma) of 2007, I was transferred to Empangeni High School, where I took mathematics, biology, visual art and physics. This was a huge leap for me and passing these subjects required great dedication, perseverance and hard work. I matriculated in 2008 with a BD (bachelor’s degree) and gained university entrance.

    I furthered my academic career at Stellenbosch University in 2009, with the study of BSc in Biological Sciences (the Extended Degree Programme). In 2010, there was an armed robbery on our farm, in Kwa-Zulu Natal, which led to my failure in all first semester modules. In spite of this, I was approved to continue with the second semester; however another armed robbery forced me to leave inQ3. (do you mean leave Q3 - or: drop, finish with Q3?)

    I took an 18-month gap year and during that time I was fortunate to experience a short course in nursing in which I did my student practice Or: internship at the Intensive Care unit at the Bay Hospital, in KZN, for 6 months. The exposure to critical patients and the gratitude one receives after helping someone survive a serious medical condition, intensely focused my career ambition intensely, however not as a nurse but as a doctor. I gained some practical working experience, too. From August 2011 to December 2011, I worked at a pre-school and from April 2011 to August 2011, I worked for a Bidvest company.

    I have gained admission at to Stellenbosch University, starting in the second semester, 23 July 2012, however because my younger brother is studying at your university; it would be more convenient if I too, could study at the University of Pretoria. Furthermore, this would be a great experience due to your outstanding educational system as well as your excellent facilities.

    Given my past history of perseverance and dedication, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your programme. I am sure to exceed your expectations because of both my career ambition and interpersonal skills. I will enrich the programme by enabling fellow students to benefit from my ambitions and open nature.

    Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to your acceptance.

    Sincerely yours,

  3. #3
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: important: Motivational letter.

    important: Motivational letter.

    Hi there ,

    I was informed yesterday that I need to write a motivational letter and it needs to be handed in on the 21 May 2012. Please can someone check it for me, I have never written one before so I'm not entirely sure if it even stands as a motivational letter.

    thank you for your time

    regards
    Aly


    Dear Sir or Madam: (Try to find out the name)

    I am applying for your undergraduate programme, BSc in Biological Sciences, starting in the second semester, 23 July 2012. My career ambition is to become a doctor and develop a hospital in an under-privileged community.

    High school was a great challenge for me, due to my lack of basic knowledge of mathematics and physics. I was in (Or: attended) an ‘ACE’ school from grade 6-11 which further led to my academic skills being underdeveloped due to their ‘work at your own pace’ system. (Or: whose full and tight timetable had a negative effect on my academic skills) When I was in grade 11, I became aware that the mathematics I did was that of a grade 8 learner. In the fourth term of 2006, I was transferred to grade 10, at Felixton College, where my main subjects were mathematics and physics. I was told to drop the subjects, as they believed I would never pass. In the second term, (no comma) of 2007, I was transferred to Empangeni High School, where I took mathematics, biology, visual art and physics. This was a huge leap for me and passing these subjects required great dedication, perseverance and hard work. I matriculated in 2008 with a BD (bachelor’s degree) and gained university entrance.

    I furthered my academic career at Stellenbosch University in 2009, with the study of BSc in Biological Sciences (the Extended Degree Programme). In 2010, there was an armed robbery on our farm, in Kwa-Zulu Natal, which led to my failure in all first semester modules. In spite of this, I was approved to continue with the second semester; however another armed robbery forced me to leave inQ3. (do you mean leave Q3 - or: drop, finish with Q3?)

    I took an 18-month gap year and during that time I was fortunate to experience a short course in nursing in which I did my student practice Or: internship at the Intensive Care unit at the Bay Hospital, in KZN, for 6 months. The exposure to critical patients and the gratitude one receives after helping someone survive a serious medical condition, intensely focused my career ambition intensely, however not as a nurse but as a doctor. I gained some practical working experience, too. From August 2011 to December 2011, I worked at a pre-school and from April 2011 to August 2011, I worked for a Bidvest company.

    I have gained admission at to Stellenbosch University, starting in the second semester, 23 July 2012, however because my younger brother is studying at your university; it would be more convenient if I too, could study at the University of Pretoria. Furthermore, this would be a great experience due to your outstanding educational system as well as your excellent facilities.

    Given my past history of perseverance and dedication, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your programme. I am sure to exceed your expectations because of both my career ambition and interpersonal skills. I will enrich the programme by enabling fellow students to benefit from my ambitions and open nature.

    Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to your acceptance.

    Sincerely yours,

    februar, no teacher

  4. #4
    aly. is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: important: Motivational letter.

    Hi februar, Thank you so much for the reply I greatly appreciate it. I will certainly adjust what you have suggested.

    Thanks again.
    Enjoy your weekend.

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