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Thread: Essay

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    #1

    Essay

    Hey everyone. I'll be gland if you could check my essay. Thank you.

    Topic:
    Some of my friends think it's important to do sports regularly while others would rather watch a sporting event on TV.

    There is a growing tendency nowadays amongst many people towards watching professional sportsmen compete on TV instead of doing sport themselves.

    In my opinion it's better to do sports on your own. Nevertheless watching professionals can be useful to learn new moves and pick up new tricks. Firstly, being athletic makes you healthier, more energetic and positive. Secondly, I suppose spending a lot of time seating and watching TV can be unpleasant for your health. Finally, if you are able to repeat things which professionals show off on stadium you start feel more confident and thus you have motivation to move forward.
    There is another opinion on this topic. They say it's better to do what you are you're good at and nothing else. So for example if you can't play basketball they say you'd better watch professionals and not look foolish trying it on your own.

    I don't quite agree with the opinion stated. I think it's just the type of my character. I'll die but do my best to succeed in whatever I want. In my opinion such an approach helps build your character.

    To sum up, I'd say that if you want to be healthy and strong, if you want your character to be tenacious you should turn off the TV and go and try yourself.
    Last edited by Mishishka; 02-Jun-2012 at 17:18.

  1. CarloSsS's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by Mishishka View Post

    Nowadays, there is a growing tendency nowadays amongst many people towards watching professional sportsmen compete on TV instead of doing sports themselves.

    In my opinion, it's is better to do sports on your own. Nevertheless, watching professionals can be useful to learn new moves and pick up new tricks. Firstly, being athletic doing sports makes you healthier, more energetic and positive. Secondly, I suppose (that) spending a lot of time seating sitting and watching TV can be unpleasant bad for your health. Finally, if you are able to repeat things which professionals show off on at a stadium, you will start to feel more confident and thus you will have motivation to move forward.
    There is another opinion on this topic. They say it's is better to do what you are you're good at and nothing else. So For example, if you can't play basketball they say you'd better should rather watch professionals and so as to not look foolish trying it on your own.

    I don't do not quite agree with the opinion stated that. I think it's it is just the type ofbecause of my character. I'll will die but do my best to succeed in whatever I want. In my opinion, such an approach helps to build your character.

    To sum up, I'd would say that if you want to be healthy and strong and (or) if you want your character to be tenacious, you should turn off the TV and go and try it yourself.
    NOT A TEACHER

    I suggest that you do not use contractions (don't, we're) in your essays. Also, please, watch your punctuation more closely. Lastly, I made mostly grammatical corrections, it could still be improved as far as the style is concerned.
    Last edited by CarloSsS; 04-Jun-2012 at 19:33.
    Please note that I'm not a teacher.

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