I would like to know your opinion regarding this cover letter. I have been receiving lower scores of readability. I would really appreciate any help and comment.
Dear Ms. Farrugia:
I am writing in response to your opening for the Audit Associate position appearing in Deloitte.com/careers on June 12 th, 2012. As a senior in the Accounting Bachelor program at GSU, I am highly interested in starting a career with a firm that has a corporate culture that supports and invests in the personal development of its employees. In addition, Deloitte’s constant commitment to the advancement of minorities by means of notable programs such as W.I.N, reinforces my belief that the firm is the right place to evolve as a qualified professional in the field.
In this era of globalization, to be able to communicate in multiple languages and understand the global business etiquette is paramount. Therefore, I believe the company will benefit from my fluency in Spanish as well as my cultural awareness. Furthermore, as an avid athlete, I know the value of diligence and teamwork to achieve vast results. I am confident that my personal and academic background has provided me with the ability to fulfill your demands and outshine with added guidance from my colleagues.
I have included my resume for your consideration. I look forward to meet with you in person and discuss how I may further the goals of your company. Please, feel free to call me at (678)502-6100.
Desiree R. Fantini
Lower scores on readability mean that more people will understand it. A cover letter should normally have a lower score than an academic paper about astrophysics.