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    #1

    Please let me know if this is correct

    How can I improve the below sentences?


    Besides my passion for teaching, one of my strengths that I have to offer is my enthusiasm when it comes to the incorporation of technology into my lessons.


    Thanks for your feedback!

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please let me know if this is correct

    Quote Originally Posted by nana75 View Post
    How can I improve the below sentences?


    Besides my passion for teaching, one of my strengths that I have to offer is my enthusiasm when it comes to the incorporation of technology into my lessons.


    Thanks for your feedback!
    Either "one of the strengths I have to offer" or simply "one of my strengths is", but "my strengths" followed by "I have to offer" smacks of redundancy. I would also say "my enthusiasm for using technology in my lessons".
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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    #3

    Re: Please let me know if this is correct

    Another option: Included in my passion for teaching, is the enthusiasm I have for the application of technology in my lessons.

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    #4

    Re: Please let me know if this is correct

    For both of you.......Thanks a lot for your advice!

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