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    zt4096 is offline Newbie
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    Question please evaluate my short essay

    Anyone please check my essay written on DEMOCRACY.


    "Government of the people, by the people, for the people" - Abraham Lincoln has very precisely and comprehensively defined democracy as it leaves no room for confusion. It is the form of government in which individuals who make government are elected by the masses of that country. Though, It is government of people, but each citizen of a country cannot be made a parliamentarian. Therefore, representatives from different areas on ticket of political parties contest in elections. Then the political party gaining majority of votes makes the government and minorities constitute opposition.


    In the present era, Democracy is considered as the best form of government as compared with others, as nothing is absolutely perfect in this world. Many countries, especially third-world are inclined towards becoming a democratic nation, because with the passage of time, people are getting politically mature.

    Being the best form of government, it also has demerits, which sometime overcome the benefits of democracy. They are so serious in nature that people start hating even the term "Democracy". As a result, either country goes into anarchy and chaos state, or military coup happens, which is unconstitutional. The biggest flaw of democracy is that only people who have mega economic power can capture political power of the state. Whereas, an ordinary citizen with limited economic resources can exercise his political liberty only through vote. Neither he can make a political party, nor he can join any, because, to become a political activist requires huge sum of money. Due to this reason, one can say that feudal dictatorship exists in the name of democracy. As Aristotle said "Democracy is, when the indigent, and not the men of property, rule." This statement defines the true sense of democracy.

  2. #2
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    a_vee is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: please evaluate my short essay

    Quote Originally Posted by zt4096 View Post
    Anyone please check my essay written on DEMOCRACY.


    "Government of the people, by the people, for the people" - Abraham Lincoln has very precisely and comprehensively defined democracy as it
    (< This means "because it". I would say, "in a way that") leaves no room for confusion. It is the form of government in which individuals who make government are elected by the masses of that country (<I would restructure this to be more simple. It's hard work to read it. "It is the form of government which allows the masses to elect the rulers.) Though it is government of people, but each citizen of a country cannot be made a parliamentarian (<OR not every citizen can have a political position). Therefore, representatives from different areas on ticket of political parties contest in elections (<I don't quite understand this sentence. I think the problem is sentence structure and vocabulary use). Then the political party gaining (that gains the) majority of votes makes up the government and the minorities constitute the opposition.

    In the present era, Democracy is considered as to be the best form of government as when compared with others, though nothing is absolutely perfect in this world. Many countries, especially third-world countries, are inclined towards becoming a democratic nations, because with the passage of time, people are getting politically mature.(<This is a little long, and a little awkward. Can you break it up and make it simpler?)

    Being the best form of government, it also has demerits, which sometime overcome the benefits of democracy. They are so serious in nature that people start hating even the term "Democracy". As a result, either country goes into anarchy and chaos state, or military coup happens, which is unconstitutional. The biggest flaw of democracy is that only people who have mega economic power can capture political power of the state. Whereas, an ordinary citizen with limited economic resources can exercise his political liberty only through vote. Neither he can make a political party, nor he can join any, because, to become a political activist requires huge sum of money. Due to this reason, one can say that feudal dictatorship exists in the name of democracy. As Aristotle said "Democracy is, when the indigent, and not the men of property, rule." This statement defines the true sense of democracy.
    I hope this helps. I didn't look at the last paragraph. You have some good content here!

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