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  1. #1
    HaraKiriBlade's Avatar
    HaraKiriBlade is offline Member
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    Default Trying to introduce a new idea to my essay

    I'm trying to explain that the author of the book I'm writing essay about intentionally deprived the readers of, in chapter one of his book, certain information needed to understand one of the characters, making the readers thirst for it, and then provided that missing piece in chapter two so that the readers would feel a release.

    Whew! that was lone long sentence. Anywayz, I referred to the whole idea and called it 'the gap the author intentionally presented'. Please take a look at one of my essay's body paragraphs and see if it makes sense to you.


    Note: Frederick is the abductor, and Miranda is his unwilling prisoner.

    The movie chose to omit an entire chapter of the book. It was chapter two, which is comprised of Miranda's journals reflecting on her everyday since her captivity, on her captor and on her family, friends and her crush (love / lover?), all of whom she left behind. In the novel, Frederick narrates most of the plot in chater one, from the beginning to most of Miranda's captive days. Then in chapter two the narrator changes to Miranda reading her journals, which develops her character and provides much-needed extra information. Her journal is parallel to the previous chapter, reflecting on events that took place in chapter one. By chapter three Miranda becomes too sick to write her journals and Frederick again takes over to tell what happens until she unexpectedly dies. Chapter four takes up only three pages and works as the plot twister. It makes good use of irony, because all the way through the novel Frederick never fails to show how much obsession and love he has for her and at the very last three pages he shocks the readers by stalking another girl, as if nothing happened, shortly after Miranda's death. Since chapter two is parallel to the previous chapter with different narrator, the absence of it does not interrupt the story flow. And by omitting it the movie buys enough time to successfully deliver the main story relatively faithful to the novel, but at the same time kills the viewers' chance to fully get to know Miranda, one of the two main characters. Her journals are very valuable in the aspect that it fills a gap that the author intentionally presented. In chapter one, although Frederick lets the readers know his thoughts as well as what he says, he couldn't possibly know what Miranda is thinking at any given instant. She responds to him in various ways and the readers could guess as to what she is thinking but that's as accurate as it gets. Frederick also tries to guess what Miranda has in her mind and narrates in the novel, but I do not think a lot of readers would find his guesswork credible because of his mental state. So her side of the story is missing in chapter one and that's what I call the intentional gap presented by the author. Then chapter two steps in, Miranda pronounces her thoughts through her journals and fills the gap. It is as though someone is deprived of something and he badly wants it. When he finally gets it he feels the release of ecstasy, happy to get his hands on the thing he has been wanting so badly. Chapter one deprives of the readers Miranda's take on the story when the author could've chosen a third-person narration and stated both Frederick's and Miranda's minds. Then chapter two gives the missing piece. The chapter is also important because it not only works as a device of catharsis but reveals a lot of Miranda's characters... (I'll stop here)
    Did I introduce my idea ok? were you able to understand it? Could I have presented my idea better, and if so, what would do to improve it? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Proofreading would also be very much appreciated, but it's not that urgent.

  2. #2
    Tdol is online now Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Trying to introduce a new idea to my essay

    I think the differences between the book and the movie could be better contrasted. You start with the movie in the first sentence, but the flow of the paragraph is about the book, so it seems a bit unbalanced to me.

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