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  1. #1
    halinhbeo is offline Newbie
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    Default Advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

    I am learning IELTS, could you please check my essay? Thank you so much
    Mobile phones have brought mostly benefits to our personal lives.
    Do you agree or disagree?
    .................................................. .................... ...........................................

    In recent years, the world has witnessed a booming number of mobile phones. They are dramatically changing the way people contact to each other. It is apparent that mobile phones has had a profound influence on personal lives. However, not all the effects of them have been positive.

    To begin with, using mobile phones is one of popular methods for people to communicate, relax and do business. By using call or video phone, text message, we are able to keep in touch together despite a long distance. These days, with the significant developement of cell phones, they enable users to entertain such as surfing the internet, sending photos or downloading videos and games. According to a research, the number of people accessing the web through mobile phones is now accounting for well over 15% of worldwide internet usage. Furthermore, some Office applications for mobile phones, for example, Miccrosoft Office are helping employees do their business more effectively.

    Although it is true that people are now getting a number of advantages from mobiles, these communication technologies also have several negative impacts. Firstly, using cell phones too much will probably be harmful for human's health as it can increase the risk of brain cancer. In addition, children are spending a lot of their free time on using mobiles with the purpose of chatting or playing games. This is time consuming and affect negatively on their studies. Lacking of face-to-face communication is also the result of using mobiles. Instead of going out or dating, many people prefer to stay at home and use their cell phones to connect to others.

    In general, mobile phones have both pros and cons to our society. They make the people's lives and works become more convinient. Yet, mobile phones still impact badly on health, time and communication of individuals. To advoid these problems, each person should manage the time of using mobiles reasonably. Besides, the awareness of people about the disadvantages of mobile phones should be improved.

  2. #2
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is online now Moderator
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    Default Re: Advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

    Use either "mobile" or "cell" but don't switch.
    Do you have FACTS to support that there is a risk of brain cancer?
    Do you have STUDIES that show that kids are spending so much time on their phones that their studies are affected?
    I've highlighted problems.
    Quote Originally Posted by halinhbeo View Post
    I am learning IELTS, could you please check my essay? Thank you so much
    Mobile phones have brought mostly benefits to our personal lives.
    Do you agree or disagree?
    .................................................. .................... ...........................................

    In recent years, the world has witnessed a booming number of mobile phones. They are dramatically changing the way people contact to each other. It is apparent that mobile phones has had a profound influence on personal lives. However, not all the effects of them have been positive.

    To begin with, using mobile phones is one of popular methods for people to communicate, relax and do business. By using call or video phone, text message, we are able to keep in touch together despite a long distance. These days, with the significant developement of cell phones, they enable users to entertain such as surfing the internet, sending photos or downloading videos and games. According to a research, the number of people accessing the web through mobile phones is now accounting for well over 15% of worldwide internet usage. Furthermore, some Office applications for mobile phones, for example, Miccrosoft Office are helping employees do their business more effectively.

    Although it is true that people are now getting a number of advantages from mobiles, these communication technologies also have several negative impacts. Firstly, using cell phones too much will probably be harmful for human's health as it can increase the risk of brain cancer. In addition, children are spending a lot of their free time on using mobiles with the purpose of chatting or playing games. This is time consuming and affect negatively on their studies. Lacking of face-to-face communication is also the result of using mobiles. Instead of going out or dating, many people prefer to stay at home and use their cell phones to connect to others.

    In general, mobile phones have both pros and cons to our society. They make the people's lives and works become more convinient. Yet, mobile phones still impact badly on health, time and communication of individuals. To advoid these problems, each person should manage the time of using mobiles reasonably. Besides, the awareness of people about the disadvantages of mobile phones should be improved.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. #3
    halinhbeo is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

    Thank you so much for your help

  4. #4
    birdeen's call is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

    Is "people contact to each other" correct?

  5. #5
    Barb_D's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

    No. I missed that one.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  6. #6
    mikado1392 is offline Newbie
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    Exclamation Re: Advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    Use either "mobile" or "cell" but don't switch.
    Do you have FACTS to support that there is a risk of brain cancer?
    Do you have STUDIES that show that kids are spending so much time on their phones that their studies are affected?
    I've highlighted problems.

    Could you help to correct it?
    Thanks.

  7. #7
    Barb_D's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

    I believe I've helped you by showing you your errors. It's now up to you to correct the errors.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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