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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Smile Please check my passage

    I am newbie for this forum and want to improve my english. I wrote a para describing a situation about me. In this para "Man" means - a part of mind which takes part in thinking & behaviour. You can replace this word with mind.
    Please check this for any improvments.

    My Man has two layers. One, above layer, is similar to waves on sea and other is similar to deepness of sea. The above layer always keeps me away from second layer. It nourishes me with hurry & worry. It keeps my senses in dark and keeps me unaware of my thinking capability . I mostly live on this layer only. A few times, I try to penetrate this above layer and try to reach into deep layer. It requires a lot of hard work for some day continuously. It
    requires meditation regularly .and then only I get able to touch this inside layer. I feel a lot of calmness & relaxation in my mind. I do every work so carefully that I wonder. I talk so politely and even handle difficult situations so beautifully as I never imagine. No negative thoughts , no thought of anger or frustration troubles me. I like to be in this deep layer forever. But unfortunately it doesn't happen. Probably the above layer of my Man doesn't want it or my laziness says no more work , no more meditation. So after a few day i get out of this deep layer and starts to live on above layer again. This is a inevitable cycle which
    resets my all improvements and hard work I have done for it and I return to where I was before - a state of hurried & worried from a state of ecstatic.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Japan
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    Re: Please check my passage

    One, above layer,- One, the top layer
    waves on sea- waves on the sea
    and other- and the other.. to the depth of the sea
    senses in dark- the dark
    into deep layer- the deeper layer
    meditation regularly- regular meditation
    I get able to touch - get to touch
    I wonder- I am amazed???
    so beautifully as I never imagine.- more beautifully than I could ever imagine
    and hard work- the
    I have done for it- I had done to achieve it
    hurried & worried- hurry/worry

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Re: Please check my passage

    Thanks a lot for your nice suggestion.

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