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  1. #1
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    Default Need help revising this sentence

    "For example, if my mom called at 3 p.m. to tell me to wash my cloth and that she will be back from work at 9 p.m.; I would probably only start doing the chore at 8 p.m. and by the end just manage to slip by. "

    "During this whole ordeal, I keep on telling myself, oh hey its only 5 p.m. or hey its only 7 p.m. I got all the time in the world."

    is there a way to revise this sentence?
    Last edited by farcus; 23-Dec-2005 at 20:16.

  2. #2
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    Red face Re: Need help revising this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by farcus
    "For example, if my mom called at 3 p.m. to tell me to wash my cloth and that she will be back from work at 9 p.m.; I would probably only start doing the chore at 8 p.m. and by the end just manage to slip by. "

    "During this whole ordeal, I keep on telling myself, oh hey its only 5 p.m. or hey its only 7 p.m. I got all the time in the world."

    is there a way to revise this sentence?
    There is more than one sentence here - which one do you want revised?

    A possiblity is -

    "If, for example, my Mum called at 3 p.m. to say that she wouldn't be back until 9 p.m. and I was to wash my clothes in the meantime, I probably wouldn't start until 8 p.m. and be lucky to be finished by 9 p.m.!"

    For the second -

    "During the whole ordeal I kept telling myself, 'No worries/Chill/Hey/Plenty of time, it's only 5 o'clock, or 6 o'clock, or whatever! There's plenty of time. I've got all the time in the world.'"

    Hope this helps,
    Dippit

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Need help revising this sentence

    Thanks Dippit

    For the second sentence should i really have quotations around "oh hey its only 5 p.m." or "hey its only 7 p.m. I got all the time in the world." i mean i didn't actually say it, it is only what i THOUGHT so i dont know.

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Need help revising this sentence

    It should have have the speech marks in my opinion even if you didn't actually say the words aloud.

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