[Essay] Ielts Academic report

[a_elshafie30000]

I am about to take the ​

IELTS

academic in two weeks and i need help as i keep practicing but i dont know if am on the right track, so if any body can help me and to show me my points of weakness and what score is it, it will be appreciated.

Task 1:​

The charts below give information on UK spending habits for books boughtover the internet.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below
you should write at least 150 words.

My answer 19 mins:

​

The given figures represents the amount of money spent on buying books over the internet, as well as the regionspurchased those books. Given that all the figures are from the United Kingdom.

The first figure which is a graph, shows that in 1997 10 million pounds were spent on E-books. Those 10 million pounds rose gradually till they reached over 20 million pounds on 2000. Between year 2000 and 2002, the money spent on online books slightly climbed up till it reached almost 25 million on 2002.

The second figure, illustrates that 81% of the books purchased over the internet, was purchased by people from England. In the second place comes Wales with a percentage of 10. Scotland and Ireland only bought 1% and 8% percent of the books respectively.

By the end, we can say that the number of books bought between 1997 and 2000 was doubled. Although it is clear that most of the buyers in UK are from England.​

 

[emsr2d2]

I am about to take the IELTS academic in two weeks and I need help as I keep practicing but I don't know if I am on the right track, so if [STRIKE]any body[/STRIKE] anybody can help me and [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] show me my points of weakness and [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] what it would score [STRIKE]is it[/STRIKE], it will be appreciated.

​

I don't have time to do your piece justice but please see the amendments I have made to the rest of your post above (in red). When you write, you must capitalise the word "I" (first person singular pronoun) at all times.

 

[CarloSsS]

The given figures represent[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] the amount of money spent on buying books over the Internet, as well as the regions of those who purchased the books. [STRIKE]Given that[/STRIKE] All the figures are from the United Kingdom.

The first figure, which is a graph, shows that in 1997 10 million pounds were spent on E-books. Those 10 million pounds rose gradually until (till is grammatically fine but quite informal) they reached over 20 million pounds [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] in 2000. Between the years 2000 and 2002, the money spent on online books slightly climbed up until it reached almost 25 million in [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] 2002.

The second figure [no comma] illustrates that 81% of the books purchased over the Internet [no comma] was purchased by people from England. In the second place comes Wales with a percentage of 10. Scotland and Ireland only bought 1% and 8% percent of the books respectively.

[STRIKE]By the end,[/STRIKE] To sum it up/In conclusion, we can say that the number of books bought between 1997 and 2000 was doubled. [STRIKE]Although [/STRIKE]Moreover, it is clear that most of the buyers in UK are from England.​

See above.