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  1. #1
    leszkoss's Avatar
    leszkoss is offline Junior Member
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    Default Please check this 'competition entry' for mistakes.

    Task comes from the book: Grammar for CAE and Proficiency


    You have seen this announcement in the English Language Learning Magazine:

    English Language Teacher of the Year Award
    Write and tell us why your language teacher should win.
    Tell us a little about his or her background.
    Say why you think he or she is an outstanding teacher.
    Say how he or she has helped you to learn.

    Write your competition entry in 220-260 words.



    Learning English is not an easy task. It takes time and demands conscientiousness from the learner. However, we wouldn’t be able to achieve good results without a skillful and clever teacher that leads us through this long and arduous process.
    My English teacher, Mr Jack, is somewhat unique. His path to this profession was quite unconventional. He was a self-taught teacher who had who got a high command of English during his many voyages abroad. After he returned he came up with an idea that he could teach English as a private teacher, since there was a shortage of really good teachers in my town at that time. It didn’t take long before he acquired a reputation of one of the best teachers in town. Later he also obtained a formal degree in Teaching English.
    I have to confess that without the knowledge and skills of that teacher, I wouldn’t have been able to achieve such a level of English. He can take teaching English to a completely different level. It is not only the knowledge that he has, but also the methods that he uses and his mere personality, which also plays an important role. On one side Mr. Jack can be a very funny person. He can be described as a ‘cool’ person, someone with an interesting personality. However, there is also the other side of him, the more serious one. Mr. Jack is well known among students for being very strict and demanding and for imposing severe discipline on his lessons. He would definitely appreciate it you work hard and come up with good results and praise you for it. However, if you are ‘fooling around’ and falling behind with your schoolwork, or simply do not come up to the expectation (when you should have), you can face a harsh and merciless criticism from him. That said, he is a very honest and objective teacher at the same time, and this though attitude seems only to serve a purpose: motivate students to work harder and make further progress.
    Still there are those who hate him for the way he is and the methods he uses. I belong to those who regard him as one of the best teachers and consider myself to be really fortunate to be one of his students.


    I know it is too long but I couldn't help it.
    Thank you for any help.

  2. #2
    bgonso is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please check this 'competition entry' for mistakes.

    Hi leszkoss,

    Here is the corrected document.


    Competition Entry

    Learning English is not an easy task. It takes time and requires that the learner be very conscientious. However, we wouldn’t be able to achieve good results without a skillful teacher that leads us through this long and arduous process.

    My English teacher, Mr Jack, is somewhat unique. His path to this profession was quite unconventional. He was a self-taught teacher who acquired a high command of English during his many travels abroad. After he returned he came up with an idea that he could teach English as a private teacher, as there was a shortage of good teachers in my town at that time. It didn’t take long before he acquired a reputation as one of the best teachers around. Later he also obtained a formal degree in Teaching English.

    I have to confess that without the knowledge and skills of this teacher, I wouldn’t have been able to achieve my current level of English. He can take teaching English to a completely different level. It is not only the knowledge that he has, but also the methods that he uses and his mere personality, which also play important roles. On one side Mr. Jack can be a very funny person. He can be described as ‘cool’ , someone with an interesting personality. However, there is also the other side of him, the more serious one. Mr. Jack is well known among students for being very strict and demanding and for being very rigid about his lessons. He definitely appreciates it you work hard and come up with good results and praise you for it. However, if you are ‘fooling around’ and falling behind with your schoolwork, or simply do not meet his expectations (when you should have), you can face harsh and merciless criticism from him. That said, he is a very honest and objective teacher and this approach seems only to serve a purpose: motivate students to work harder and make further progress.


    Hope this helps. The word count is still 326 though.

    Brook

  3. #3
    leszkoss's Avatar
    leszkoss is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Please check this 'competition entry' for mistakes.

    Thanks.

  4. #4
    charliedeut's Avatar
    charliedeut is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Please check this 'competition entry' for mistakes.

    Hi Leszkos,

    I'm posting my version. The word count is 286 now. See how you like it.

    Learning English is not an easy task. It takes time and requires that the learner be very conscientious [requires time and a conscientious learner]. However, we wouldn’t be able to achieve good results without a skillful teacher that leads leading us through this long and arduous process.

    My English teacher, Mr Jack, is somewhat unique. His path to this profession was quite unconventional. He was is [just for it to agree with “is somewhat unique”] a self-taught teacher who acquired a high command of English during his many travels abroad. After he returned he came up with an idea: that he could teaching English as a private teacher, as there was a shortage of good teachers in my town at that time [by then]. It didn’t take long before [Before long,] he acquired a reputation as one of the best teachers around. Later he also obtained a formal [I don’t know whether there are “informal” degrees] degree in Teaching English.

    I have to confess must say that without the his knowledge and skills of this teacher, I wouldn’t have been able to achieved my current level of English. He can take takes teaching English [at this point, it has already been established that we are speaking of an English teacher, so I believe there is no reason to add up to your word count] to a completely different level. It is not only the knowledge that he has, but also the his methods that he uses and his mere personality which also play important roles. On one side Mr. Jack can be a very funny person. He can be described as ‘cool’, someone with an interesting personality. However, there is also the other side of him: the more serious one. Mr. Jack is well known among students for being very strict and demanding and for being very rigid about his lessons. He definitely appreciates it your working hard and coming up with good results and praises you for it. However, if you are ‘fooling around’ and falling behind with your schoolwork homework, or simply do not meet his expectations (when you should have), you can face harsh and merciless [such adjectives do not sound well for a praising letter; I think it’s better you leave them out] criticism from him. That said, he is a very honest and objective teacher and this approach seems only to serve a purpose: motivate students to work harder and make further progress.

    charliedeut
    Please be aware that I'm neither a native English speaker nor a teacher.

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