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    #1

    Question Cold Contact Cover Letter - corrections

    Hi everyone,

    I'm new to this forum and english is my third language, so please excuse me for eventual grammar or spelling mistakes. I'll try my best to write properly and participate in all the other discussions.

    Now, I got here because I'd like to have your help to correct a letter of intent (some call prospect letter?) that I'll send to some companies that I'm interested in. I'm recently graduated and looking for a job as a video editor. As it's a creative job, so I tried to keep the style as casual as possible for this kind of situation. Anyway, please have a read and let me know what you all think, mistakes you see and anything else you find appropriate.

    Thank you!!

    Hi,
    My name is XXX and I'm a video editor recently graduated from XXX University. I love <Company's name> works and it would be unbelievable for me to collaborate with you.
    I have academic and professional experience with a number of editing software and I believe that in organizing, transforming and sculpting images I can bring to life the best in a project aesthetically as well as emotionally.
    For me, the creative process is much more challenging and stimulating when I have the chance to partner with people that like me is always looking for new ideas and trying new things and this is why I would love to hear from you in case there is an opening the your editing team now or in the future.
    For more information about me and my work please visit xxx.com or have a look on my resume attached here.
    Thanks a lot for your time and attention,

  1. charliedeut's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Cold Contact Cover Letter - corrections

    Quote Originally Posted by jr03 View Post
    Hi everyone,

    I'm new to this forum and english is my third language, so please excuse me for eventual grammar or spelling mistakes. I'll try my best to write properly and participate in all the other discussions.

    Now, I got here because I'd like to have your help to correct a letter of intent (some call prospect letter?) that I'll send to some companies that I'm interested in. I'm recently graduated and looking for a job as a video editor. As it's a creative job, so I tried to keep the style as casual as possible for this kind of situation. Anyway, please have a read and let me know what you all think, mistakes you see and anything else you find appropriate.

    Thank you!!
    Hi,
    My name is XXX and I'm a video editor recently graduated from XXX University. I love [how/the way] <Company's name> works and it would be unbelievable [a nice challenge] for me to collaborate with you.

    I have academic and professional experience with a number of editing software [provide some examples] and I believe that in organizing, transforming and sculpting images I can bring to life the best in a project aesthetically as well as emotionally.
    For me, the creative process is much more challenging and stimulating when I have the chance to partner with people that who, ["that" is not necessarily wrong, I just prefer the use of "who" when talking about people] like me, is are [people] always looking for new ideas and trying new things. and This is why I would love to hear from you in case there is an opening the in/at [I'm not sure which one fits better in here] your editing team now or in the [near] future.
    For more information about me and my work please visit xxx.com or have a look on at my resume, which I have attached here.
    Thanks a lot for your time and attention,
    Hi jr03, and welcome to the forums .

    I have made some comments on your letter. However, I'm not sure that informal style is suitable, even if it is for a creative job. Companies look for creative people, but using this style might give them a wrong impression of you. However creative the job, the General Manager (or whoever it is that reads such letters) surely expects a certain degree of formality in the presentation letter. Once you are called for an interview, face-to-face speaking may turn out differently, but I advise you change it to a slightly more formal style before sending the letter.

    charliedeut
    Please be aware that I'm neither a native English speaker nor a teacher.

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