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  1. #1
    qin841121 is offline Newbie
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    Default Please critique this cover letter

    I welcome all comments, whether is it positive or negative

    19 July 2012

    RE: Financial Analyst Opportunity

    Dear Mr. Peter,

    I hope you will consider me for the position of financial analyst, as advertised in The News Times. You mentioned in your advert a need for strong analytical skills, and with my education and work experience I felt that I was well placed for the role.

    I am currently pursuing a part time Master of Science in Applied Finance in Ocean University. In additional, I have passed CFA Level 3 and FRM level 2. These educations have given me a solid understanding of the financial markets. I have been proven to be an analytical person with a GMAT score of 750 (98th percentile). My work experience of teaching and managing a class has sharpened my communication skills and relationship-management skills.

    If you would like to talk with me or schedule an interview, please call me at 555-555-1212. Thank you for your consideration.

    Sincerely,

    Mark Bear

    Enclosure: Resume19 July 2012

    RE: Financial Analyst Opportunity

    Dear Mr. Peter,

    I hope you will consider me for the position of financial analyst, as advertised in The News Times. You mentioned in your advert a need for strong analytical skills, and with my education and work experience I felt that I was well placed for the role.

    I am currently pursuing a part time Master of Science in Applied Finance in Ocean University. In additional, I have passed CFA Level 3 and FRM level 2. These educations have given me a solid understanding of the financial markets. I have been proven to be an analytical person with a GMAT score of 750 (98th percentile). My work experience of teaching and managing a class has sharpened my communication skills and relationship-management skills.

    If you would like to talk with me or schedule an interview, please call me at 555-555-1212. Thank you for your consideration.

    Sincerely,

    Mark Bear

    Enclosure: Resume

  2. #2
    charliedeut's Avatar
    charliedeut is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Please critique this cover letter

    Quote Originally Posted by qin841121 View Post
    Dear Mr. Peter,
    Hi and welcome ,

    In English, as far as I know, "Mr./Mrs." are usually followed by the person's family name (Mr. Johnson/Mrs. Jones). In case you don't know Peter's family name, I think you should start with a polite "Dear Sir". If you don't know whether a man or a woman will read the letter, then use "Dear Sir/Madam".

    charliedeut
    Please be aware that I'm neither a native English speaker nor a teacher.

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