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  1. #1
    ben9108 is offline Member
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    Default Application letter mistake

    The following paragraph is a part of my application letter. It has been commented by two interviewers. Up to this moment, I cannot find the problem from where. Have anyone help me?

    "For the whole, I enclosed herewith my resume for your kind consideration and I hope my solid experience would properly help myself to develop my career in this field. I would like to success your business if future great cooperation can be achieved. I look forward to being granted an interview, when I shall be glad to explain myself to you more detail. "

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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      • English Teacher
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    Default Re: Application letter mistake

    For the whole- the expression would be 'on the whole', but it doesn't fit here
    I enclosed- I enclose
    my solid experience would properly help myself to develop- my experience will help me develop (however, this doesn't fit in the context of an application)
    I would like to success your business- success is a noun- I would like to contribute to your...
    if future great cooperation can be achieved- delete the lot
    when I shall be glad to explain myself to you more detail.- I'd say something like I am aailable for interview at your convenience. Should you require any further information... Thanking you in advance, I look forward to hearing from you

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