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    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain

    • Join Date: Jul 2012
    • Posts: 1
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    #1

    Could somebody correct this formal letter please?

    I'm studying on my own to do an exam in september and I'm sure this letter could be improved, but I don't know how!
    Thanks!
    Laura García Arenal
    C/Mayor 8
    Cáceres


    The Manager

    Lake Garda Ski Resort

    Italy


    Cáceres, August 23th 2012
    Dear Sir/Madam:



    The aim of this letter is to request further information about Lake Garda Ski Resort. We have read the information leaflet in our travel agency, and there are still some points that we would like to clarify.



    Firstly, we would like to know if there are any interesting cultural visits in the surroundings, as such villages of historical interest, museums, etc. As well, we are interested in natural landscapes and excursions in the nature near the Ski Resort. Particularly, we are interested in excursions that could be made with children. Regarding to both this kind of visits (cultural tours and excursions in the nature) we would like to know if there are guided tours.


    Secondly, we are interested in nature sports near the Resort. In particular we would like to recieve information about canoeing and rafting in the area.



    Lastly, we wanted to ask which are the months of the skiing season.


    Looking forward to recieve all the information you could send us, we would like to thank you four your attention.



    Yours faithfully,



    Laura García Arenal

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 3,505
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Could somebody correct this formal letter please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Agnes33 View Post
    I'm studying on my own to do an exam in september and I'm sure this letter could be improved, but I don't know how!
    Thanks!
    Laura García Arenal
    C/Mayor 8
    Cáceres


    The Manager

    Lake Garda Ski Resort

    Italy


    Cáceres, August 23th , 2012
    Dear Sir/Madam:



    The aim purpose of this letter is to request further information about Lake Garda Ski Resort. We (?) have read the information leaflet in our (?) travel agency, and there are still some points that we (?) would like to clarify.



    Firstly First, we (?) would like to know if there are any interesting cultural visits in the surroundings, as such villages of historical interest, museums, etc. As well, we (?) are interested in natural landscapes and excursions in the nature near the Ski Resort. Particularly, we are interested in excursions that could be made with children. Regarding to both this these kinds of visits (cultural tours and excursions in the nature) we (?) would like to know if there are guided tours.


    Secondly, we (?) are interested in nature sports near the Resort. In particular, we (?) would like to recieve information about canoeing and rafting in the area.



    Lastly, we wanted to ask which what are the months of the skiing season?


    Looking forward to recieve all the information you could can send us, we (?) would like to thank you four for your attention.



    Yours faithfully, sincerely,

    Laura García Arenal
    Why have you used "we" throughout the letter with only one signature? It would be OK if, instead of the first "we", you replace it with "my husband and I" or "my friend and I" or whomever your "we" represents.
    Last edited by billmcd; 24-Jul-2012 at 21:25.

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