please score my Ielts essay and correct my mistakes

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sofia_1986in

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Forests are the lungs of the earth. Destruction of the world's forests amounts to death of the world we currently know. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Forests are very important for us. They are rightly called the "lungs of the earth". In spite of this deforestation is being done in large number. It affects life on earth in many ways.
Deforestation is done for various reasons like using the land for farming or urbanization and to obtain wood. But this act leads to many problems. It majorly affect the wild animals as their place of dwelling is getting destroyed. some animals die and some migrate to the cities causing threat to human life. For instance, leopards were caught roaming lose in Mumbai a few years back and there are only 1411 tigers left in India.
due to lesser number of trees, pollution is increasing manifolds. Trees purify air and gives out oxygen. But these natural green resources are being cut down which results in impure air which is hazardous for our health. This can cause deaths of not only humans but other creatures as well.
Fewer forests is the major reason of climatic changes and scanty rains. This has greatest impact on agriculture field which depends on rain for irrigation. Natural water bodies like lakes and rivers are also becoming dry. Such drought conditions leads to loss of crops, aquatic animals and other creatures on earth due to unavailabilty of water.
To sum, we have seen that forests support lives of all creatures on earth either directly or indirectly, so various steps should be taken by both government and public to save the forests. People should be encouraged grow more trees and promote the slogan " each one, plant one".
 

sofia_1986in

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somebody please check my work....
 

bgonso

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Hi sofia,

I corrected your document. Its not an easy topic to write about :)

Forests are very important to us. They are rightly called the "lungs of the earth". In spite of this, deforestation is happening on a large scale. It affects life on earth in many ways.

Deforestation is done for various reasons such as farming, developing urban areas and obtaining wood. But this leads to many problems. It greatly affects the wildlife as their place of dwelling is destroyed. Some animals die and some migrate to the cities creating a threat to humans. For instance, leopards were caught roaming lose in Mumbai a few years back and there are only 1411 tigers left in India.

Due to a decrease in trees, pollution has greatly increased. Trees purify air and produce oxygen. But these natural green resources are being cut down which results in impure air which is hazardous for our health. This can cause deaths of not only humans but other creatures as well.

Fewer forests are the major reason of climatic changes and less rainfall. This has the greatest impact agriculture which depends on rain for irrigation. Natural water bodies like lakes and rivers are also drying up. Such drought conditions lead to loss of crops, aquatic animals and other creatures on earth due to unavailability of water.

In summary, we have seen that forests support the lives of all creatures on earth either directly or indirectly. Various steps should be taken by both government and public to save the forests. People should be encouraged to grow more trees and promote the slogan "Everyone, plant one".

I attached the formated document as well. Good luck!

- Brook
 

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  • Forests are the lungs of the earth.doc
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sofia_1986in

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How much will you score my essay??
 

bgonso

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Hi srini,

I don't have as much experience scoring Ielts papers as some of the other teachers in this forum, so I will defer to them.

I can say that you did a good job in separating your ideas into paragraphs and your introduction and conclusion is clear. Did you look at the suggestions I made in the online version of your document? I included a link within the attached document. These should be helpful as well.

- Brook
 

sofia_1986in

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Thank you so much. I appreciate that you took out time to correct my work and your suggestions are also helpful.
 
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