Essay Correction, please, for SAT 1

Status
Not open for further replies.

GuilhermeRM

Junior Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Brazilian Portuguese
Home Country
Brazil
Current Location
Brazil
Could someone help, evaluating me? Sincerity at first :-|
Task: ''Is failure a temporary setback resulting
from inaction or indifference? Plan and write
an essay in which you explain and develop your
view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning
and evidence drawn from your reading,
studies, experience, or observation.''

Failure is one of the most helpful mechanisms which one could use to succed. People normally can't see that fact and fall to realize that error walks side by side with growth.
Negative thoughts occults our perceptions; in the bargain, with a limited minded environment, feelings of certain impossibility takes place, guiding posterior actions. Many brilliant personalities showed how dealing with such situations were crucial for their positions. Tom Cruise, for example, tried eight auditions before he gets his first role, meanwhile always receiving pecimist responses. J.K Rowling, popular writter, gave lectures at Harvard University explaining how she could abide seven rejections consecutively, and then become the first millionare publisher.
Any person regarded as normal and prudent would give up at best in the third attempt. That's why unusual achievements aren't seen around so easely.
 

GuilhermeRM

Junior Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Brazilian Portuguese
Home Country
Brazil
Current Location
Brazil
Thank you so much, I'll rewrite it; I wrote negative thoughts occults :shock:
 

GuilhermeRM

Junior Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Brazilian Portuguese
Home Country
Brazil
Current Location
Brazil
Essay for SAT 1

Task: ''Is failure a temporary setback resulting
from inaction or indifference? Plan and write
an essay in which you explain and develop your
view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning
and evidence drawn from your reading,
studies, experience, or observation.''

Facing failure is one the most challenge part of an employment, whathever its extent. From a test preparation to a huge marketing campaine, any activity is free from error instances. But what is behind of those unpleasure moments when it comes to our own responsability?

Actualy, the reason we receave bad results is totally connected with falty of attention and our non experience. As long as we assume disposition to follow a task, indifference has a short role in any mistakes that may show up. For example, Greek's economic crises has been regarded a natural consequence for a long walfare period which was based on a theoretical productive agrary system. There hadn't been any immediative control of it, because this country always had financial support from Europe Union, so that never faced truly economic necessity.

By that, indifference isn't amixtured with inaction in that case, but provides from it. Equally, into a micro point of view, our failure rests upon choice or unqualified actions of achievement.
 

GuilhermeRM

Junior Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Brazilian Portuguese
Home Country
Brazil
Current Location
Brazil
Re: Essay for SAT 1

PLEASE, feel free to criticise because I really need help (I wrote falty rather than faulty :oops:), what people thought when saw this text, and what expressions may I use to improve? Thank you so much, I don't have money to pay an english teacher, just doing by myself for SAT november, Brazil.
 

GuilhermeRM

Junior Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Brazilian Portuguese
Home Country
Brazil
Current Location
Brazil
Re: Essay for SAT 1

Hello Gillnetter, thank you; I wrote as fast as I could,trying to project myself to test date, that's why it is so unpolished xP. I'll rewrite, rewrite
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top