Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. #1
    doheng is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Serbo-Croatian
      • Home Country:
      • Croatia
      • Current Location:
      • Canada
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    2
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Please can someone help me with this letter

    Hi everyone,

    I applied for one job and girl replied to me saying my letter is full of grammatical errors. Can someone please check and try to correct because I can't see what is wrong with it. This is the letter I sent...

    "Dear Sir/Madam,

    I am a highly talented Strategic Marketing Professional with over 2 years of experience and I would like to present my candidacy for a Marketing position with your company. I worked professionally for large corporations as well as smaller start-up organizations in Canada, United States and Europe.
    Through my career, I have developed and applied skills such as:

    Excellent communication, interpersonal and public presentation skills
    Strong entrepreneurial and management skills
    Sound investigative, analytical and problem solving abilities
    Highly organized, creative and self motivated
    Hard working and detail oriented, perform well under pressure
    Producing good quality work within set time constraints
    Succinct knowledge and understanding of organizational operations
    Ability to work effectively in a fast paced team environment
    Excellent knowledge in Microsoft Office tools
    Social media strategies, Google Analytics, SEO, Web design (Adobe Dreamweaver), Adobe Photoshop CS5
    Very good knowledge of SAS Enterprise Guide, SAS Enterprise Miner, SPSS and SQL

    If you hire me, you will find action-oriented, innovative, IT savvy, flexible and fast learning person who can work independently or in a team environment. My colleagues and supervisors appreciated my great work ethic, warm and open personality, ability to work well under pressure, win attitude, commitment to quality, endless ideas and excellent presenting and public speaking skills.
    All relevant data about my education and experience is described in the attached resume. I am certain that my skills, experience and education will serve to create dramatic, profitable results for your company. I believe that provided information in this letter will be sufficient for your purposes.
    I will be happy to make myself available for a personal interview with you at your convenience to discuss your current and future needs and how I might serve them.
    Thank you for consideration of my application! Sorry for any inconvenience!"

  2. #2
    doheng is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Serbo-Croatian
      • Home Country:
      • Croatia
      • Current Location:
      • Canada
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    2
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Please can someone help me with this letter

    Hi Gillnetter,

    Thank you for your time looking through this letter! Now I see what she meant... It's not that horrible but OK. It's a little bit funny because she didn't focus on my skills and experience, she literally wrote "Your letter is full of grammatical errors". So typical for HR Managers... :) And I applied for data analysis job and writing skills are not in the first plan.
    But what do you suggest, how can I improve my writing skills? Should I take writing course or something?

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 22-Jun-2012, 20:04
  2. [General] Recommendation Letter & Letter for applying in a University
    By judyabbot in forum Letter Writing
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11-Mar-2009, 14:40
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-Nov-2008, 00:07
  4. the opening paragraph of a letter - small or capital letter
    By Unregistered in forum Letter Writing
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 26-Jul-2007, 10:46
  5. the abbreviated two-letter 'code' at the bottom of the letter
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-Jul-2007, 23:33

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Hotchalk