Kindly Edit My Script

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yeecharles

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I wrote the following script for my school magazine. please read and edit it. Thanks in advance.

All praise and glory be to the Almighty God for showering his blessings upon everyone in SMK St. Joseph Miri.


Firstly, I would like to thank the Magazine Club for inviting me to drop a few lines in ‘The Josephian 2012’.

I am proud of SMK St. Joseph because once again, it carries on its tradition as one of the top schools in Miri. We excel in both curriculum and co-curriculum, either locally or internationally. The backbone behind this success is the show of hard work, determination, good planning and perseverance by our solid team of teachers and students.


Taking this opportunity, I would like to draw an analogy between our school and a tree. Both of us are made up of many parts. Our institution is composed of the school administration bureau, the Parent-Teacher Association, teachers, parents, non-academic staff and students. On the other hand, a tree is the combination of branches, twigs, leaves, a trunk, bark and roots. We exist because of one another. To maintain the good image of our school, we should always work as a team, like the operation of cogs in a well-oiled machine.


Let us read the following quote from the Holy Bible and ponder the essence of ‘cooperation’.


So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ..”(Philippians 2: 1-30).


My fellow Josephians, continue to strive for excellence in your life. May God bless us all with His grace, kindness and wisdom.


Thank you.
 
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billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
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English Teacher
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I wrote the following script for my school magazine. please read and edit it. Thanks in advance.

All praise and glory be to [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] Almighty God for showering his blessings upon everyone in SMK St. Joseph Miri.


First[STRIKE]ly[/STRIKE],[STRIKE] I would like to thank [/STRIKE] my thanks to the Magazine Club for inviting me to[STRIKE] drop [/STRIKE] submit a few lines in ‘The Josephian 2012’.

I am proud of SMK St. Joseph because once again, it carries on its tradition as one of the top schools in Miri. We excel in both curricula and co-curricula, [STRIKE]either [/STRIKE] both locally[STRIKE] or [/STRIKE] and internationally. The backbone [STRIKE]behind[/STRIKE] of this success is the [STRIKE]show[/STRIKE] result of hard work, determination, good planning and perseverance by our solid team of teachers and students.


Taking this opportunity, I would [STRIKE] like to [/STRIKE] draw an analogy between our school and a tree.[STRIKE] Both[/STRIKE][STRIKE] of us are [/STRIKE] each is made up of many parts. Our institution is composed of the school administration bureau, the Parent-Teacher Association, teachers, parents, non-academic staff and students. On the other hand, a tree is the combination of branches, twigs, leaves, a trunk, bark and roots. [STRIKE] We exist [/STRIKE] The school exists because of one another. To maintain the good image of our school, we should always work as a team, like the operation of [STRIKE]cogs [/STRIKE] valves in a well-oiled machine.


Let us [STRIKE]read[/STRIKE] consider the following quote from the Holy Bible and ponder the essence of ‘cooperation’.


So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ..”(Philippians 2: 1-30).


My fellow Josephians, continue to strive for excellence in your life. May God bless us all with His grace, kindness and wisdom.


Thank you.

Suggestions.
 

yeecharles

Junior Member
Joined
May 19, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
Thanks a lot.
 

yeecharles

Junior Member
Joined
May 19, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
Thanks, Gil.
 
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