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  1. #1
    ardmore is offline Newbie
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    Correct me please

    Hello, I do think something wrong in the next sentence. Please help me.
    Thanks.
    Code:
    Along the education department's creation, I do believe to manage our library is 
    very important initial step for a long journey of membership education.

  2. #2
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    charliedeut is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Correct me please

    "Along with the creation of the Education Department, I believe that proper management of our library is a very important first step in the long journey of members education/ towards the education of our members".

    Just a modest proposal.

    charliedeut
    Please be aware that I'm neither a native English speaker nor a teacher.

  3. #3
    ardmore is offline Newbie
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    Re: Correct me please

    Thanks.

  4. #4
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    Re: Correct me please

    I don't know why this thread was closed. I have opened it in case others wish to comment.

  5. #5
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    Luuster2 is offline Newbie
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    Re: Correct me please

    Quote Originally Posted by ardmore View Post
    Hello, I do think something wrong in the next sentence. Please help me.
    Thanks.
    Code:
    Along the education department's creation, I do believe to manage our library is 
    very important initial step for a long journey of membership education.
    You could possibly say: Along with the education department's creation, I do believe that managing our library is a very important and a rather initial step for a long journey of membership education.

    NOT A TEACHER, but a lawyer with majors in English.

    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    I don't know why this thread was closed. I have opened it in case others wish to comment.
    I am guessing it is because ardmore's question has been answered.
    Last edited by Luuster2; 05-Sep-2012 at 01:39. Reason: Punctuation error.

  6. #6
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    Re: Correct me please

    Quote Originally Posted by Luuster2 View Post
    ...managing our library is a very important and a rather initial step for a long journey ...
    No. Steps cannot be 'rather' initial, and this step is not important and initial. We need either the original version or charlie's 'a very important first step'.

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