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  1. #1
    gauri_agr is offline Member
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    Default behaviour ...a children story

    Hi,

    Please correct the grammar in the story below I wrote today

    -------------------------------------------
    There was a girl named Shiny. She was entering to 3rd grade this year. She knew that she was getting Ms. G as her 3rd grade teacher, who was known to be a very generous teacher. A Few of her friends got her teacher as Ms. M, who was known to be very rude and mean. Shiny was waiting for her first day of the school enthusiastically.

    Shiny was sitting in the 1st row of the class when Ms. G entered the room and greeted every with full smile. Shiny found Ms. G same as described by her friends. Soon everyone was introducing Ms. G and she was so eagerly listening every one to know more about everyone in her class.

    While everyone was taking their turn to introduce oneself to Ms G, Shiny started chatting with another girl sitting on her bench. Ms. G caught Shiny and warned her very politely that she would not be able to entertain such behavior again. Shiny was so delighted. She remembered that how her 2nd grade teacher gave her time out when she was caught in the same situation.

    Shiny came home with a happy mood and started drawing her own picture with her name on it, which was her assignment for the next day. But Shiny forgot to bring it to the school. Ms G again warned Shiny for her carelessness. Shiny was sad but didn’t feel so bad as Ms G didn’t not punished her and it was just a warning.

    Shiny had been given an assignment to draw herself picture with her name on it. She was supposed to bring the school the next day. Shiny had drawn the picture but she left it at home the next day. Ms G again warned Shiny and did not give her the time out as Ms G thought it just the beginning of the school.

    Shiny started taking Ms G for granted. A few days passed and Shiny was still getting just the warning and no punishment. One day Shiny brought a book home, which had all of her classmate’s brief bio with their pictures. Everyone was talking turns to show it to their parents. Shiny was so careless about her things this year that she lost that book somewhere at home. Shiny failed to search the book for a week. Ms G had learned about Shiny that she was very careless so Ms. G punished Shiny that she would not be able to enjoy her recess for three days in a row.


    Shiny returned home with a very upset mood but she didn’t share this with her mom. When Shiny woke up next day, she called her mom and pretended that she had a stomach ache. So mom kept her at home that day. Next day again shiny pretended the stomach pain but then Mom realized that shiny didn’t complain about her stomach pain during the day time so she got suspicious. Upon asking Shiny told her the truth that she no more liked Ms. G and that’s why she did not want to go the school.

    Mom went to Shiny’s school to request Principal to change her teacher. So Shiny was in a different class from the next day. Shiny was desperate to change her class teacher that she even didn’t bother to ask who would be her next teacher. When Shiny reached her class she saw Ms M as her new teacher, who she knew was known to be a rude and a mean teacher.

    Shiny greeted nervously Ms. M but Ms M greeted her back without a single smile on her face. Shiny became so tensed that she kept sitting at one place throughout the day. She observed that Ms M was very strict. Ms. M had timed out two girls in the class for chatting during the class. Shiny was missing Ms G. She knew that it was her own mistake that she lost Ms. G. For a second she thought that it would be easier with Ms G even she had punished her than dealing with Ms M. But nothing could be done now. She could not change her teacher every day.

    Shiny became so alert as she knew that Ms. M could punish her at any moment for any mistake she would make. Shiny started paying attention very closely in Ms M’s class. A month passed and Shiny realized that Ms G had not warned or punished her so far. She kept working harder.

    One day Ms. M called Shiny to stand in the front of the class. Shiny’s heart was jumping so fast that she could listen her own heartbeat. She started inspecting her own deed since morning but found nothing big that she had done anything wrong. Shiny knew that Ms. M would not leave her even for small mistakes. She felt as if she could be underground before Ms M could announce the punishment for her. Ms M smiled and said that Shiny was one of the best girl in the class who is very attentive, sincere and hardworking. Ms. M also said in front of the class that she loves Shiny. Every one clapped for Shiny.

    Shiny came home and told Mom about the whole incident. Mom said that means she got a nice teacher finally. Shiny replied that, “ no mom Ms. G was infact a very good teacher but because of my own carelessness I lost her. Ms M is really very rude and mean but because I already had lost the good teacher I was over conscious to please Ms M. But I still like Ms. G and not Ms. M. “ . Shiny also concluded her experience to Mom that , “ We behave differently with different people and so does the people. A good teacher can be turned bad if we behave badly and a Bad teacher can be turned good if we behave well”. Mom was so glad that Shiny learned a lesson to control her own behavior to win the teacher.
    ----------------------

    Thanks in advance
    Gauri

  2. #2
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: behaviour ...a children story

    [QUOTE=gauri_agr;920481]Hi,

    Please correct the grammar in the story below I wrote today

    -------------------------------------------
    There was a girl named Shiny. She was entering to the 3rd grade She entered the 3rd grade this year. She knew that she would get Ms. G as her 3rd grade teacher, who was known to be a very generous teacher. A Few few of her friends got her the teacher as Ms. M , who was known to be very rude and mean. Shiny was waiting had waited for her first day of the school enthusiastically.

    Shiny was sitting in the 1st row of in the class when Ms. G entered the room and greeted everyone with a full (Or: bright) smile. Shiny found Ms. G same just as described by her friends. Soon everyone was introducing introduced themselves to Ms. G and she was so eagerly listening eagerly to every one them to know more about everyone every single one in her class.

    While everyone else was taking their turn to introduce oneself were introducing themselves to Ms. G, Shiny started chatting with another girl sitting on her bench (Or: next to her). Ms. G caught Shiny and warned her very politely that she would not be able to entertain such behavior again. Shiny was so delighted. She remembered that how her 2nd grade teacher gave her time out when she was caught in the same situation.

    Shiny came home with a happy mood and started drawing her own picture with her name on it, which was her assignment for the next day. But Shiny forgot to bring it to the school. Ms. G again warned Shiny for her carelessness. Shiny was sad but didn’t feel so bad as Ms. G didn’t not punished her did not punish her, and it was just a warning.

    Shiny had been given an assignment to draw herself picture a self-portrait with her name on it. She was supposed to bring it to the school the next day. Shiny had drawn the picture but she left it at home the next day. Ms. G again warned Shiny and did not give her the time out as Ms. G thought it just at the beginning of the new school year.

    Shiny started taking Ms. G’s odd way of punishing for granted. A few days passed and Shiny was still getting just the warning and no punishment. One day Shiny brought a book home, which had all of her classmate’s brief bio with their pictures. Everyone was talking turns to show it to their parents. Shiny was so careless about her things this year that she lost that book somewhere at home. Shiny failed to search the book for a week. Ms. G had learned about Shiny that she was very careless so Ms. G punished Shiny that she would not be able to enjoy her recess for three days in a row.


    Shiny returned home with a very upset mood but she didn’t share this with her mom. When Shiny woke up next day, she called her mom and pretended that she had a stomach ache. So mom kept her at home that day. Next day again shiny pretended the stomach pain but then Mom realized that shiny didn’t complain about her stomach pain during the day time so she got suspicious. Upon asking Shiny told her the truth that she no more liked Ms. G and that’s why she did not want to go to the school.

    Mom went to Shiny’s school to request Principal the principal to change her teacher. So Shiny was in a different class from the next day. Shiny was desperate to change her class teacher that she even didn’t bother to ask who would be her next teacher. When Shiny reached her class she saw Ms. M as her new teacher, who she knew was known to be a rude and a mean teacher.

    Shiny greeted nervously Ms. M but Ms. M greeted her back without a single smile on her face. Shiny became so tensed that she kept sitting at one place throughout the day. She observed that Ms. M was very strict. Ms. M had timed out two girls in the class for chatting during the class. Shiny was missing Ms. G. She knew that it was her own mistake that she lost Ms. G. For a second she thought that it would be easier with Ms. G even she had punished her than dealing with Ms. M. But nothing could be done now. She could not change her teacher every day.

    Shiny became so (Or: fully) alert as she knew that Ms. M could punish her at any moment for any mistake she would make. Shiny started paying attention very closely in Ms. M’s class. A month passed and Shiny realized that Ms. G had not warned or punished her so far. She kept working harder.

    One day Ms. M called Shiny to stand in the front of the class. Shiny’s heart was jumping so fast that she could listen hear her own heartbeat. She started inspecting her own deed since morning but found nothing big that she had done anything wrong. Shiny knew that Ms. M would not leave her even for small mistakes. She felt as if she could be underground before Ms. M could announce the punishment for her. Ms. M smiled and said that Shiny was one of the best girls in the class who is very attentive, sincere and hardworking. Ms. M also said in front of the class that she loves Shiny. Every one clapped for Shiny.

    Shiny came home and told Mom about the whole incident. Mom said that means she got a nice teacher finally. Shiny replied that: no mom Ms. G was infact in fact a very good teacher but because of my own carelessness I lost her. Ms. M is really very rude and mean but because I already had lost the good teacher I was over conscious to please Ms. M. But I still like Ms. G and not Ms. M. Shiny also concluded her experience to Mom that, “We behave differently with different people and so does the people. A good teacher can be turned bad if we behave badly and a Bad bad teacher can be turned good if we behave well”. Mom was so glad that Shiny learned a lesson to control her own behavior to win the teacher.
    ----------------------

    Thanks in advance
    Gauri

    februar, no English speaker, no teacher

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