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  1. #1
    Abu Aljood is offline Newbie
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    Default Please help me to rephrase these two sentences

    Hello,

    I hope you all doing well. I'm writing an e-mail to a professor asking him to volunteer in his research. I already have a good written e-mail. But my problem in only one paragraph whichI feel that It needs to be rewritten.


    I have read in your biography that you are interested in working with young trainees. I hope that you consider my request as I'm in need for support to take my first step in Medical research.

  2. #2
    RubberDucky is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please help me to rephrase these two sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu Aljood View Post
    Hello,

    I hope you all doing well. I'm writing an e-mail to a professor asking him to volunteer in his research. I already have a good written e-mail. But my problem in only one paragraph whichI feel that It needs to be rewritten.


    I have read in your biography that you are interested in working with young trainees. I hope that you consider my request as I'm in need for support to take my first step in Medical research.
    Well, I believe the first sentence will suffice. I would only make one change to the second sentence, rather than using "for" I suggest you use "of" instead.

  3. #3
    Gillnetter is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please help me to rephrase these two sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu Aljood View Post
    Hello,

    I hope you all doing well. I'm writing an e-mail to a professor asking him to volunteer in his research. I already have a good written e-mail. But my problem in only one paragraph whichI feel that It needs to be rewritten.


    I have read in your biography that you are interested in working with young trainees. I hope that you will consider my request, as I'm in need for of support to take my first step in medical research.
    If you are writing this message to someone in the US, it might be better to not use "young". The usage of "young" would imply that the person discriminates on the basis of age.
    Last edited by Gillnetter; 11-Sep-2012 at 16:55. Reason: Misplaced word

  4. #4
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    tzfujimino is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please help me to rephrase these two sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by Gillnetter View Post
    I hope that will you consider my request...
    Hello, Gillnetter.

    I believe you meant:

    "I hope that you will consider my request..."

    Please forgive me if I'm wrong.

  5. #5
    sadhvidh is offline Newbie
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    Talking Re: Please help me to rephrase these two sentences

    Hello,

    If you think that you are right then you don't need to any help. Here are my suggestion.

    I have read in your biography that you are interested in working with young trainees. I hope that you will consider my request as I need your support to take my first step in Medical research.

  6. #6
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please help me to rephrase these two sentences

    I hope you are all doing well.

    I'm writing an e-mail to a professor asking him to volunteer in his research.
    Now, who is the volunteer - you or the professor?

    I already have a good written e-mail. But my problem in only one paragraph which I feel that It needs to be rewritten.

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