Can you correct this paragraph please?

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globsticks

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Jan 16, 2011
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Spanish
Home Country
Peru
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Peru
Hello There,
I would like to figure out if the paragraph I wrote below it is sound enough and make perfect sense, or does it have any mistakes that you could point out for me please?
Thank you in Advance,
Luis


Are you taking classes in a University or College? Would you like to meet students from other schools in your city? How about having a big social network of friends who live nearby and go to different schools? I am a student myself and found out that a social dating network like (insert website name) was needed it long ago, then I created it to allow us to socialize more with other students from our city,meet new People, go out on more dates and have fun all around while being in school. Some of us would relocate to new cities or even countries for school reasons, would not be a great idea to have already friends from that new school before even getting there? For the ones who stay local, (insert website name) can help you by expanding your social circle further. Meeting students like you has never being easier,100% free online dating.
 
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MartinEnglish

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Sep 26, 2012
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English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Hello There,
I would like to figure out if the paragraph I wrote below it is sound enough and make perfect sense, or does it have any mistakes that you could point out for me please?
Thank you in Advance,
Luis


Are you taking classes in a University or College? Would you like to meet students from other schools in your city? How about having a big social network of friends who live nearby and go to different schools? I am a student myself and found out that a social dating network like (insert website name) was needed it long ago, then I created it to allow us to socialize more with other students from our city,meet new People, go out on more dates and have fun all around while being in school. Some of us would relocate to new cities or even countries for school reasons, would not be a great idea to have already friends from that new school before even getting there? For the ones who stay local, (insert website name) can help you by expanding your social circle further. Meeting students like you has never being easier,100% free online dating.


Hi Luis, here it is with corrections:
Are you taking classes in a University or College? Would you like to meet students from other schools in your city? How about having a big social network of friends who live nearby and go to different schools? I am a student myself and found out that a social dating network like (insert website name) was needed it long ago, so I created one to allow us to socialize more with other students from our city, meet new people, go out on more dates and have fun all around while studying. For those of us relocating to new cities or even countries in order to study, would it not be a great idea to have friends already at that new school before even getting there? And for those of you staying closer to home (insert website name) can help you by expanding your social circle further. Meeting like-minded students has never being easier - 100% free online dating.

Hope this helps

Martin
 
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