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    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 234
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    please help me check a memo

    Please help me check a memo in terms of diction, sentence structures and language style. Thank you.
    Memo
    To: All staff
    From: Liu Yueyue
    Date: September 19
    Subject: A trip to Thailand
    The total net profits of our company have increased by 40% in the third quarter compared with the profits in last quarter. Excited news for all. I hereby show my sincere thanks to you for all you have done.
    Obviously, it can not be denied that it is your creativity, positivity and initiative, our company that make our company top in this industry and that it is your great effort and precious time that yield good profits.
    To return your pay, I suggest a free five-day trip to Thailand including transportation, accommodation, meals, and round-trip international airplane ticket. If you have any question, please contact my assistant at 18971393955.

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 3,505
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: please help me check a memo

    Quote Originally Posted by ziawj2 View Post
    Please help me check a memo in terms of diction, sentence structures and language style. Thank you.
    Memo
    To: All staff
    From: Liu Yueyue
    Date: September 19
    Subject: A trip to Thailand
    The total net profits of our company have has increased by 40% in the third quarter compared with the profits in last quarter. Excited Exciting news for all. I hereby show offer my sincere thanks to you for all you have done.
    Obviously, it can not be denied that it is your creativity, positivity positive attitude and initiative, our company that make our company tops in this industry and that it is your great effort and precious time that yield good profits.
    To return your pay contribution, I suggest a free five-day trip to Thailand including transportation, accommodations, meals, and round-trip international airplane ticket. If you have any questions, please contact my assistant at 18971393955.
    b.

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