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  1. #1
    vignes is offline Newbie
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    Default ielts essay. kinfly correct it

    Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspects of their
    lives. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


    The 20th centuary has been a year of information explosion. Though, humans have always shown an increased intellect and communication capabilities in the past several centuries, it is in the previous century that several scientific amd technological advancement were achieved. These advancements and innovations has given a very stern platform for the people of 21st century to advance further.


    Like never before , people are so dependent on machines. Technology has become an inseperable thing for everyone. The advancement of computers and internet has transformed the lives of people. The mobile communications and internet can be said as the prime drivers of this century. Many are of the view that ease of use, faster information exchange are main advantage that attract them towards technologies. They also claim that the accuracy of information is very high compared to last generation manual techniques. This makes technology less error prone, highly accurate and more dependable.The economic experts say that higher the use of technology, higher the efficiency of the people and better the economic outlook of a country. Some governments and multinational companies actively encourage the use of technologies. Afterall everyone wants to be smart.


    Some governments are actively putting technologies in use , others are very reluctant about increased use of these. Many experts argue to that this expotential usage of technologies can spell a catastrophy.


    These experts have researched and gathered several factual statistics on the usage of technologies and how it is replacing many workforces. In their research, the most prominent discussion was on increased unemployment due to technology. Many painters, security gaurds, bank staffs, have lost their jobs due to this. Those workforces have been replaced by digital printings , security cameras, online transaction. Such statistics are alarming and requires a fire fighting mode of rescue.


    In summuray, though the technical innovation and advancements has enhanced most of our lives, it is the utmost responsibility of the government to control the usage.

  2. #2
    charliedeut's Avatar
    charliedeut is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: ielts essay. kinfly correct it

    Quote Originally Posted by vignes View Post

    The 20th centuary has been was a year one/a century [no need to repeat "century" here, IMO] of information explosion. Although humans have always shown an increased intellect and communication capabilities in the past several centuries, it is was in the previous century that several scientific and technological advancements were achieved. These advancements and innovations have given a very stern platform for the people of the 21st century to advance further.


    Like never before[no space], people are so dependent on machines. Technology has become an inseperable thing item for everyone. The advancement of computers and internet has transformed the lives of people. The mobile communications and internet can be said as to be the prime drivers of this century. Many are of the view that ease of use and faster information exchange are main advantage factors that attract them towards [new] technologies. They also claim that the accuracy of information is very high compared to last generation's manual techniques. This makes technology less error prone, highly accurate and more dependable.The economic experts say that the higher the use of technology becomes, the higher the efficiency of the people and better the economic outlook of a country. Some governments and multinational companies actively encourage the use of technologies. After[space]all, everyone wants to be smart.


    Some governments are actively putting technologies in use[no space], others are very reluctant about increased use of these. Many experts argue to that this exponential increase in usage of technologies can spell a catastrophy.


    These experts have researched and gathered several factual statistics on the usage of technologies and how it is they are replacing many workforces workers. In their research, the most prominent discussion was on increased unemployment due to technology. Many painters, security guards, bank staffsclerks, have lost their jobs due to this. Those workforces jobs have been replaced by digital printings[no space], security cameras, online transactions. Such statistics are alarming and requires a fire-fighting mode of rescue [I don't know exactly what this means].


    In summary, though the technical innovation and advancements have enhanced most of our lives, it is the utmost responsibility of the government to control their usage.
    Maybea native English speaker will find some more that went under my radar, but it's a beginning.

    Good luck!

    charliedeut
    Please be aware that I'm neither a native English speaker nor a teacher.

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