Hey all, I'm in the process of formatting a couple of stories, and trying to decide on the best way to do it.

When I have 2 seperate trains of though, I've designated them each a new line, for example.


"The new secretary was very shrill, but she seemed competent and got things done when and how I wanted them done. I liked her for that."

That section is one train of thought. Which is then followed by a description.

"She looked very exhausted. Her hair was unkempt, she smelled like sweat, and a great deal of perfume, which only made it worse"

I have the one character making those observations. Obviously in his head. Should they be a part of the same section? Or is it fine to have them separated into separate sentences.


I'm only after some suggestions as to the sentence structure. IE placement. Not the content in the sentences.


Cheers