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  1. #1
    lsh9977 is offline Newbie
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    Default cover letter writing

    Here is a hyphothetical cover letter I wrote as a class activity.

    I want to know if this is okay to be submitted in real situation.

    Please tell me anything to be corrected after reading.

    Thank you so much!



    To Applied Materials:

    I would like to submit my application for the position of Sales Representative in Applied Materials, which was advertised on Spetember 25. I consider that my qualifications and my previous experiences match to your Sales representative requirements.

    The job description said the ability to interface with customers is needed. I have done this. I had part-time job in a conveyor-belt sushi restaurant in Australia for about 9 months. Making sushi was tough work but the one thing that I liked was I could chat with customers in front of me. They included Australians, Japanese, Chinese and often Koreans. This allowed me to not only develop the ability to communicate with customers in various languages but also get promoted to supervisor after 6 months.

    Applied Materialsís company story mentions community inverstments in several areas. This is appealing to me and something I have experienced with, especially in education field. For instance, I had volunteered as a English teacher for the students from low-income families for 2 years. It was really rewarding experience to do something good for the local community.

    Lastly, my enthusiasm to work for your company as a Sales Representative is enhanced by excellence of your company brand name, Applied Materials and career development opportunities. I am excited about the position and look forward to meeting with you. Thank you for your time and consideration.


    Sincerely,
    Alex

  2. #2
    jgreen79 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: cover letter writing

    I have also applied for a sales position before. My letter was similiar to this one. I have tried to upload the image but i couldn't sorry.

  3. #3
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: cover letter writing

    Quote Originally Posted by lsh9977 View Post
    Here is a hyphothetical cover letter I wrote as a class activity.

    I want to know if this is okay to be submitted in real situation.

    Please tell me anything to be corrected after reading.

    Thank you so much!



    To Applied Materials:

    I would like to submit (I suggest that you don't begin a letter of this type with "I would like to...". Either you are submitting the application or you are not.) I am enclosing (OR This is) my application for the position of Sales Representative in Applied Materials, which was advertised on Spetember 25 (where?) . I consider that my qualifications and my previous experiences match to your Sales representative requirements.

    The job description said mentions a requirement for the ability to interface with customers. is needed I have done this experience in the important area of customer relations. I had part-time job worked in a conveyor-belt sushi restaurant in Australia for about 9 months. Making sushi was tough difficult and tedious work but the one thing primary activity that I liked was that I could chat with customers. in front of me. They included Australians, Japanese, Chinese and often Koreans. This allowed me to not only develop the ability to communicate with customers in various languages but also get to be promoted to supervisor after only 6 months.

    Applied Materials’s company story (?) mentions community inverstments in several areas. This is appealing to me and something I have experienced with, especially in the education field. For instance, I had volunteered as a English teacher for the students from low-income families for 2 two years. It was really a rewarding experience to do something good for the local community.

    Lastly Finally, my enthusiasm to work for your company as a Sales Representative is enhanced by the excellence of your company brand name, Applied Materials and career development opportunities. I am excited about the position and I look forward to meeting with you. Thank you for your time and consideration.


    Sincerely,
    Alex
    Suggestions.

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