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  1. #1
    faydra14 is offline Newbie
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    Default Can someone read my english essay?

    Hi, I am a student trying to get into college. this is my first draft of essay c. if someone doesnt mind can they please read it and give me some pointers? THANKS


    High School is supposed to be the greatest years of a young person’s life. But for me, it felt like the total opposite. The summer before I became a freshmen I had a “great opportunity” is what my parents called it. I was going to a high School on a college campus, an Early College High School. While most kids thought it was amazing all I could think was, “They don’t even have a sports team; I can’t play sports, go to football games, and won’t even have a homecoming. I will be in a school full of nerds and I’ll be an outcast because I’m not as bright as everyone else.” I was more scared than ever, especially since I was going to be with other college students and I was only going to be a freshman in high school.
    My freshmen year at ----- Early College high school was pretty much a disaster. I did not want to be there or even try to make friends with all the really nice people that tried to talk to me. I did not want any of it. As the year went on I was so against it that I got “sick” I always felt sick on school days, I never wanted to go and went to the nurse a lot. I was taken to doctors and specialist to find out what was wrong because I did not realize what it was I. As the year went on I did make friends finally towards the end. That is when I realized that everyone was on the same boat. We were all new to the campus, the school, and the people. I realized that I was lucky to be in a small school where everyone knew each other and were willing to help as much as they could. As the years have gone on I am now towards the end of high school and the school that I could not wait to get out of is something I am going to miss very much. This school with only 400 kids in all four grades has become home, a place where you can talk to anyone and you know everyone. It might have been a real challenge or obstacle for me to get through my first year but now I could not have seen me going to a school anywhere else. I am so grateful to have gone to a school that gave me the option of receiving my high school diploma and associates in four years and that I stuck with this even through the obstacles I had to overcome.

  2. #2
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Can someone read my english essay?

    Quote Originally Posted by faydra14 View Post
    Hi, I am a student trying to get into college. this is my first draft of essay c. if someone doesnt mind can they please read it and give me some pointers? THANKS


    High School is supposed to be the greatest years of a young person’s life. But for me, it felt like the total
    "(complete" or "exact" would be better) opposite. The summer before I became a freshmen I had a “great opportunity” is what my parents called it. I was going to a high School on a college campus, an Early College High School. While most kids thought it was amazing all I could think was, “They don’t even have a sports team; I can’t play sports, go to football games, and won’t even have a homecoming. I will be in a school full of nerds and I’ll be an outcast because I’m not as bright as everyone else.” I was more scared than ever, especially since I was going to be with other college students and I was only going to be a freshman in high school.
    My freshmen year at ----- Early College high school was pretty much a disaster. I did not want to be there or even try to make friends with all the really nice people that tried to talk to me. I did not want any of it. As the year went on I was so against it that I got “sick” I always felt sick on school days, I never wanted to go and went to the nurse a lot. I was taken to doctors and a specialist to find out what was wrong because I did not realize what it was I. As the year went on I did make friends finally towards the end. That is when I realized that everyone was on ("in" is more common with this expression) the same boat. We were all new to the campus, the school, and the people. I realized that I was lucky to be in a small school where everyone knew each other and were willing to help as much as they could. As the years have gone on passed I am now towards the end nearing the completion of high school and the school that I could not wait to get out of is something I am going to miss very much. This school with only 400 kids in all four grades has become home, a place where you can talk to anyone and you know everyone. It might have been a real challenge or obstacle for me to get through my first year but now I could not have seen me going to a school anywhere else. I am so grateful to have gone to a school that gave me the option of receiving my high school diploma and with friends and associates in four years and that I stuck with this even through against the obstacles I had to overcome.
    I like it. Good luck.

  3. #3
    faydra14 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can someone read my english essay?

    Thank you so much!

    Quote Originally Posted by billmcd View Post
    I like it. Good luck.

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