is my grammar that i used is correct?

[nelinda]

Last Saturday, we celebrated Andi's Birthday at Kidzville Podium. It was a fun day. Everybody is in the mood to party, especially the children. the place is so crowded, but everything is fine. You hard laughing of the children,parents and a loud sound coming from the sound system.

During the games everybody was participated. I can see the smile at their faces, especially to Andi.
She was so happy, she sing and dance that day. she was cool.

 

[Gillnetter]

Last Saturday, we celebrated Andi's Birthday at Kidzville Podium. It was a fun day. Everybody [STRIKE]is [/STRIKE] was in the mood to party, especially the children. the place [STRIKE]is [/STRIKE] was so crowded, but everything [STRIKE]is [/STRIKE] was fine. You [STRIKE]hard [/STRIKE] heard the laughing of the children, parents and a loud sound coming from the sound system.

During the games, everybody [STRIKE]was [/STRIKE]participated. I [STRIKE]can [/STRIKE] could see the smile [STRIKE]at [/STRIKE] on their faces, especially [STRIKE]to [/STRIKE] onAndi's.
She was so happy, she [STRIKE]sing [/STRIKE] sang and [STRIKE]dance [/STRIKE] danced that day. She was cool.

"is" refers to the present - It is raining. "was" refers to the past - It was raining yesterday. The party happened in the past, so "is" cannot be used here - use "was". Similar to this is your usage of "can". I can see now, I could see yesterday.

 

[nelinda]

Hi, Thank you for correcting my grammar.