Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 30
  1. #1
    joetmh Guest

    Default anyone have any idea about these essays?

    hi teachers, this is joe. My english exam is only next week.. u.. anyone heard of the 1119 english exam? i'm taking it... see, i have some essays that i cant think of any idea or story to write it.. would anyone of you can guide me? ok .. here's the titles
    1.write a short story ending with"... He had, after all, survived. He now had a future to look forward to."
    2.The letter that change mt life.
    3.write a story beginning with "I couldn't believe my eyes..." or " I couldn't believe my ears..."
    Um, teachers, if possible, you guys can guide me all of the essays.. or you guys can only guide me one of them... and... if you're kind enough.. paragraphing would be apprecated... thank you!!!

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Japan
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    43,599
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    I'm not familiar with the exam, so I need to know how long the piece of writing is, otherwise I cannot have much idea about how many paragraphs are required.

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,570
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: anyone have any idea about these essays?

    Your teacher is asking you to be creative. We can help with composition and grammar and so forth, but we cannot do your thinking for you.

    (I can help with making paragraphs, but you will have to post something for me to do that.)

    Don't wait for ideas to come. Just write!

    :wink:

  4. #4
    joetmh Guest

    Default here's my idea...

    ok.. actually, for some essays, i have my own idea already, but i am stuck in the writing.. i just cant expand the story much further.. i think i need some paragraphing guides... the exam requires aroung 350 words.. 5 -6 paragraphing is sufficient...

    anyway, i wrote one of them... "...He had, after all survived. He now had a future to look forward."

    "Joe, have you seen my diamond rings around." mum shouted at the top of her voice. "No!" I replied. But of course, I knew who would have taken it. Every now and then, one of mum's jewelery will be nowhee to be seen."Do you think there's something dirty lurking around the house?" mum whispered to me. The next day, she even brought home a medium, which was quite young for a job like that."He's an imposter."I shrugged, most probably because I knew exactly what the "thing" was.

    It happened last few months ago, I was thirsty and was thinking of helping myself with a can of coke. Just when I asse through an alley, I saw my brother, smoking his lungs out of the body with his so-called friends. "You! You are a disgrace of our family!" I shouted at him furiously with a pointing finger. "So what? It's none of your business!" he retorted.Suddenly his friend grabbed me on the neck, aiming a punch on my face. "I don't want mother to know about this!" he thrusted his face on me and said, with a hidacious grin.

    Although i reached home safe and sound that day, I didn't speak a word to him since then. However, he got even crazier than ever. Recalling that was one day, I walked past his room, realizing something was amiss, so I bite the bullet and peeked in his room through the keyhole. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that, he was actually consuming drugs in the room! I got really disappointed with him and was thinking of telling mum about these things, but something inside me told me that I shouldn't have a finger in the pie, so I decided to just go with the flow.

    However, the worst things turned worst when I saw him sneaknig out of mum's room one day, with something glittering in his hands. It was mum's golden wrist watch which father gave her before his last breath. " You are really out of your mind! Do you know how much that means to mum?" I yelled at him. "And do you know how much that means to me? Money!" he hissed to me while dashing out of the house. I disgruntled as I was totally torned between the law an my brother. Finally, I decided, to help him is to pull him back to the right path, I knew I should let mum know about this.

    That night, I bravely told mum the moment she stepped into the house. She was so shocked to hear about this and instantly she tried to locate brother on his cell phone. It was engage. "He had never been that late to come home." I thought, wondering what happened to him. Just then, the phone rang, insistently, it was an police officer speaking, saying that brother was caught red-handed for trafficking stolen goods and suffered a gunshot on his chest, he was in critical situation. I was stunned, but somehow I manage to gain control of myself and thanked the police officer.

    An hour later, we were standing beside brother. Fortunately, doctor manage to save his life in time. He can escape from the death, but he can't escape from the law. He was sentenced 5 years in jail. Good or bad. Rewards or punishments. There is no escape. However, he had, after all, survived. He now had a future to look forward to."

    =END=

    (please can anyone help checking through my essay, give me some opnions about this. Thanks!)
    i know... the story is a bit too lauzy.. but no choice.. i cant think of anything more interesting. If anyone has a better one...I'll be really glad...

  5. #5
    joetmh Guest

    Default my another ideas...

    Well... i have a title that really don't know how to start writing it... and paragraphing it...
    it's " the letter that changed my life."
    you see, i'm thinking of writing it with a plot that says one day i received a letter... it was from my father... which comes from nowhere..(I was told by my mum that my father was dead since i was small...) But... i cant expand the story...i mean continue the story... any idea for the next part? jusy a few idea will do. thanks!

  6. #6
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,570
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: here's my idea...

    The ending is good. The plot, I think, is good too. However, the devil is in the details. :wink:

    Let's look at the first paragraph.

    "Joe, have you seen my diamond rings around." mum shouted at the top of her voice. "No!" I replied. But of course, I knew who would have taken it. Every now and then, one of mum's jewelery will be nowhee to be seen."Do you think there's something dirty lurking around the house?" mum whispered to me. The next day, she even brought home a medium, which was quite young for a job like that."He's an imposter."I shrugged, most probably because I knew exactly what the "thing" was.
    "Joe, have you seen my diamond rings around?" Mum shouted at the top of her voice. "No!" I replied. What I didn't say was that I knew who took them. I was hiding a dirty little secret.

    Every now and then, a piece of Mum's jewelery would be nowhere to be seen. "Do you think there's something dirty lurking around the house?" Mum whispered to me one day. The next day, she even brought home a medium, who I thought was quite young for a job like that.

    "He's an impostor," I shrugged, most probably because I knew exactly what the dirty something was.
    • Hm.

      What do you think?

      :)


    [Edited for capitalization.]

  7. #7
    joetmh Guest

    Default wow!

    Great! U've changed only a little words and it's all perfect! thanx !!!

    and.. if this essay has 100 marks... exactly how much did i get? (interesting?) u can say every little mistake i've done... so i know where to change...

  8. #8
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,570
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: here's my idea...

    Paragraph two.

    It happened last few months ago, I was thirsty and was thinking of helping myself with a can of coke. Just when I asse through an alley, I saw my brother, smoking his lungs out of the body with his so-called friends. "You! You are a disgrace of our family!" I shouted at him furiously with a pointing finger. "So what? It's none of your business!" he retorted.Suddenly his friend grabbed me on the neck, aiming a punch on my face. "I don't want mother to know about this!" he thrusted his face on me and said, with a hidacious grin.
    • It happened a few months ago when I was thirsty and was thinking of helping myself to a can of Coke. I was passing through an alley and I saw my brother smoking his lungs out with his so-called friends. "You! You are a disgrace of our family!" I shouted at him, stabbing my finger at the air and pointing it in his direction.

      Suddenly his friend grabbed me by the neck, aiming a punch on my face. "I don't want Mother to know about this!" he thrust his face at me and said with a hidacious grin.


    I haven't totally rescued that paragraph. It remains unclear who is doing the talking. Is is the wayward brother or his friend?

    :)

  9. #9
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,570
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: here's my idea...

    Paragraph three.

    Although i reached home safe and sound that day, I didn't speak a word to him since then. However, he got even crazier than ever. Recalling that was one day, I walked past his room, realizing something was amiss, so I bite the bullet and peeked in his room through the keyhole. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that, he was actually consuming drugs in the room! I got really disappointed with him and was thinking of telling mum about these things, but something inside me told me that I shouldn't have a finger in the pie, so I decided to just go with the flow.
    • Although I reached home safe and sound that day, I haven't spoken a word to him since then. However, he got even crazier than ever. One day I was walking past his room and I realized something was amiss. Curiosity got the better of me, and I peeked into his room by looking through the keyhole. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that he was actually consuming drugs in the room. I got really disappointed with him and was thinking of telling mum about these things, but something inside me told me that I shouldn't snitch, so I decided to just go with the flow.


    Go with the flow, huh?

    :wink:

  10. #10
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,570
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: here's my idea...

    Fourth paragraph.

    However, the worst things turned worst when I saw him sneaknig out of mum's room one day, with something glittering in his hands. It was mum's golden wrist watch which father gave her before his last breath. " You are really out of your mind! Do you know how much that means to mum?" I yelled at him. "And do you know how much that means to me? Money!" he hissed to me while dashing out of the house. I disgruntled as I was totally torned between the law an my brother. Finally, I decided, to help him is to pull him back to the right path, I knew I should let mum know about this.
    • However, things took a turn for the worse when I saw him sneaking out of Mum's room one day with something glittering in his hands. It was Mum's gold wrist watch which Father had given her before he took his last breath. " You are really out of your mind! Do you know how much that means to mum?" I yelled at him.

      "And do you know how much that means to me? Money!" he hissed to me while dashing out of the house. I was torn between doing the right thing and loyalty to my brother. Finally, I decided that the way to help him would be to pull him back to the right path. I decided to tell Mum.


    What do you think?

    :)

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Using only the present tense in essays
    By lawrenceMcCambridge-audin in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 30-Oct-2004, 03:34
  2. my essays need editing
    By gonghai in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-Sep-2004, 03:26
  3. an idea to
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-Apr-2004, 15:19

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •