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  1. #1
    nelinda is offline Newbie
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    Default Please correct my cover letter

    Identifying information removed by moderator

    Dear Ms. name removed by moderator,

    When I was reading a magazine, I was accidentally saw your advertisement at the newspaper. Your company was looking for a immediate Receptionist. And that job was I am looking for.

    After I done research about your company, I was interested to apply on the said position. I've been in the Barxone Company for more than 5 years in the same field. I am sure that I was capable of the job based on my work experienced that was I enclosed in my resume.

    I do hope hearing the feedback regarding with my application. If you could allow me, I want to call you next week or drop by to your office to get more information regarding for the job.
    Thank you for consideration for my letter.

    Sincerely yours,

    name removed
    Last edited by Barb_D; 10-Oct-2012 at 19:00.

  2. #2
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Please correct my cover letter

    Your potential employer does not want to hear that you are finding out about their job by accident.

    They don't really care that you like them; they want to know why they will like you.

    You do not "drop by" an office to see if they will tell you more about the position.

    Please visit a few job posting sites and review their sample cover letters. I'm sorry to say that yours would have been thrown in the recycle bin the moment I saw you found us by accident.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. #3
    nelinda is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please correct my cover letter

    Thank you so much. Now, I know whats wrong with my cover letter.

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