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  1. #1
    TheBestFightandTheBestWin is offline Newbie
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    Thumbs up Pls Edit my essay-PS

    Pls somebody edit my essay.I do not know whether there are any grammatical mistakes...Thanks in advance..
    ===================

    Since my high school days, I have always wanted to become a physician. I was fascinated by the M.D. degree, which carries with it a big responsibility to the patients and the society as a whole. I think, I am fortunate enough to be exposed to a wide diversity of experiences, by getting the opportunity to live in various cities and towns of India. I still continue to learn about life and caring for lives of others.
    My decision to undergo residency training in Pediatrics is influenced by several factors.
    Perhaps, the most important is my experience as a primary care physician in rural India. It enabled me to apply the fundamental clinical principles which I learned in the medical school. During health checkup visits to schools and preschool kids’ development centers, I came across many children with a variety of social and health problems. It has intensified my interest in working with the children and made me determined to provide comprehensive and holistic health care to the children. The quest for more effective patient care has encouraged me to undergo further training in Pediatrics.
    Robert F. Kennedy said: “The future is made by each of us working to change a small portion of events for the better”. I understand that working with children is really challenging. I think I can draw immense personal satisfaction by focusing my attention on Pediatrics, which is about the future and the difference I can make for the children, who will one day grow into healthy adults of the next generation.
    Another reason for choosing this specialty is my strong interest in counseling children and their parents about various disease prevention and health promotion measures. During rural medical officer (RMO) job, I got firsthand experience in counseling parents on how to cope with the stress of having a sick child. But in this role as a teacher, I will never forget that I can learn just as much from my patients and their parents as they can from me.
    I chose the USA for my residency, as it is my strong belief that I can get the best possible training here. I hope to join a program that would equip me with a perfect blend of principles and practice of Pediatrics and provide an environment of cooperation, encouragement and learning.
    My strengths are: keeping mentally alert despite a heavy workload, patience, ability to listen to others and calm demeanor. All this enables me to build a good rapport with patients, their families and fellow workers. My strong communication skills are an additional asset and I hope to utilize them to educate the parents regarding the ailment of their children. It has been a formidable task to work as a team with many diverse personalities during the RMO job. It has taught me to let go of my ego and think of the broader picture, to move forward as a team. I hope that I can be a valuable addition to your fraternity, and someday prove worthy of your pristine name.

  2. #2
    Grumpy's Avatar
    Grumpy is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Pls Edit my essay-PS

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBestFightandTheBestWin View Post
    Pls somebody edit my essay.I do not know whether there are any grammatical mistakes...Thanks in advance..
    ===================

    Since my high school days, I have always wanted to become a physician. I was fascinated by the M.D. degree, which carries with it a big responsibility to the patients and the society as a whole. I think, I am have been fortunate enough to be exposed to a wide diversity of experiences, by getting the opportunity to live in various cities and towns of India. I am still continuing to learn about life and caring for the lives of others.
    My decision to undergo residency training in Pediatrics is influenced by several factors.
    Perhaps, the most important is my experience as a primary care physician in rural India. It enabled me to apply the fundamental clinical principles which I learned in the medical school. During health checkup visits to schools and preschool kids’ development centers, I came across many children with a variety of social and health problems. It has intensified my interest in working with the children, and made me determined to provide comprehensive and holistic health care to the children them. The quest for more effective patient care has encouraged me to undergo further training in Pediatrics.
    Robert F. Kennedy said: “The future is made by each of us working to change a small portion of events for the better”. I understand that working with children is really challenging. I think I can draw immense personal satisfaction by focusing my attention on Pediatrics, which is about the future, and the difference I can make for the children, who will one day grow into healthy adults of the next generation.
    Another reason for choosing this specialty is my strong interest in counseling children and their parents about various disease prevention and health promotion measures. During my rural medical officer (RMO) job, I got first-hand experience in counseling parents on how to cope with the stress of having a sick child. But in this role as a teacher, I will never forget that I can learn just as much from my patients and their parents as they can from me.
    I chose the USA for my residency, as it is my strong belief that I can get the best possible training here. I hope to join a program that would equip me with a perfect blend of principles and practice of Pediatrics, and provide an environment of cooperation, encouragement and learning.
    My strengths are: keeping mentally alert despite a heavy workload; patience; an ability to listen to others, and a calm demeanor. All this enables me to build a good rapport with patients, their families and fellow workers. My strong communication skills are an additional asset, and I hope to utilize them to educate the parents regarding the ailment of their children. It has been a formidable task to work as a team with many diverse personalities during the RMO job. It has taught me to let go of my ego and think of the broader picture, in order to move forward as a team. I hope that I can be a valuable addition to your fraternity, and someday prove worthy of your pristine name.
    Hope that helps.
    I'm not a teacher of English, but I have spoken it for (almost) all of my life....

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