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    #1

    teaching writing an invitation letter in formal style

    I had my student write an invitation letter that invites his friend to a dinner party at his home. He was expected to write the letter in formal style.
    His letter is:
    Dear Ann,
    I moved to my new home a few days before. Our whole family is going to hold a dinner party at 7pm on October 4 at our new home. I am pleased to invite you to come. If you could, please contact me in advance so that I could tell you my specific address. And on that day I would show you around my home and would be very pleased to introduce my friends to you.
    I am looking forward to having you with us that day.

    Sincerely,
    Cecily

    I made some changes. Could you proofread it and make it formal? Thank you!

    Dear Mrs. Smith,
    It is pleasing to inform that I have moved to my new home several days ago. In celebration, a dinner party will be thrown at 7 on October 4 in it. It was most honored to extend to you an invitation to the party. If you could attend, please notify me beforehand in order that I could inform you of my new address. And that day I will be pleased to show you around my house and to introduce my friends to you.
    Yours sincerely,
    Cecily Zhang

  1. Grumpy's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: teaching writing an invitation letter in formal style

    I'm sorry to say that I think your student's original letter is a better one than yours; chiefly because it is not necessary, when writing in English, to embellish sentences with phrases like "It is pleasing to..." and "It was most honored to ..." [which is also wrong grammatically]. Also, when writing such a letter, you will have put your new address at the head of the page, so there is no need to tell Mrs Smith about it again - she will recognise it as a new address. Finally, even in a formal letter, you would address a good friend by her first name.

    I would write the letter as:

    Dear Ann [or Dear Mrs Smith - no need for a full stop after Mrs}
    We moved into our new home a few days ago, and I would like to invite you to a celebration dinner here at 7pm on October 4th. Please let me know if you are able to came. I look forward to showing you round the house, and introducing some of my other friends to you.

    Yours sincerely

    Cecily Zhang
    I'm not a teacher of English, but I have spoken it for (almost) all of my life....

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: teaching writing an invitation letter in formal style

    My only change, and I'm sure it was just a typo, is that it should be "able to come" not "able to came." Although I am confident Grumpy knows it's a typo, I didn't want someone else to be confused by it.

    Also, in the US, we do use the . after Mr. and Mrs. so if you are writing to an American audience, use the period.

    I completely agree that statements like "It is pleasing to inform" are not at all necessary to add to the formality and, in fact, are incorrect in your "correction."
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. Grumpy's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: teaching writing an invitation letter in formal style

    Thanks, Barb_D. Typing is not one of my strong points. My hunt-and-peck technique sometimes pecks awry....
    I'm not a teacher of English, but I have spoken it for (almost) all of my life....

  4. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: teaching writing an invitation letter in formal style

    Oh, sweetie, you have miles to go before you're in the same class as 5jj and me when it comes to typos!
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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