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  1. #1
    nconte is offline Newbie
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    Default proofreading my bio

    Hi!

    My name is Nathaniel, I'm a musician and I'd like to ask if anybody here would be so kind to proof-read my bio for my press kit. And since english isn't my native language, any advices on improving the text would also be greatly appreciated.

    Ok, here's the text:


    Nathaniel Conte is an independent artist and composer based in Austria. His main instrument is the acoustic guitar, but in creating his music, he is relying heavily on digital technologies like samplers, synthesizers, MIDI and a wide range of virtual instruments. So one could argue that Nate's real primary instrument is actually his laptop...

    Nathaniel is composing songs since more than a decade, and in 2007 he decided to share some of his music with an wider audience. This resulted in the small-scale publication of his self-produced and self-distributed demo album, consisting of ten songs which were composed between 2000 and 2006. After moving to Vienna in fall 2010, Nate began to intensify his work on new songs, and within a couple of months he had enough material finished to produce his second album "Caminos Nuevos" which was released in July 2011. In the same year, Nathaniel's music was also featured on the documentary "Alternative Kommunen" by austrian filmmaker Herbert Mueller.

    To define Nathaniel's music by specific genres is a rather difficult task, as he tends to blend or mix all kinds of sounds - from spanish Rumba, Flamenco and Mestizo influences to Electronica, Dub, Jazz and middle eastern as well as indian music. With elements from a great variety of musical landscapes incorporated into his sound, Nathaniel's music might be best described as experimental world-fusion based on a mix of electronica and live instrumentation.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: proofreading my bio

    I recommend that you post this in the Editing and Writing Topics section of the forum, as people look there for longer texts which will take longer to correct. I had a quick look through your piece. My first piece of advice is to look at the number of times you have used the present continuous and reconsider if it is always the most appropriate tense.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  3. #3
    nconte is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: proofreading my bio

    Thanks for your advice, emsr2d2!

    To the MODS: As suggested, I copied my original post to the "Editing and Writing" section - please feel free to delete this thread here.

  4. #4
    nconte is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: proofreading my bio

    Hi emsr2d2!

    Following your advice, I made a few changes, but since I'm no native speaker, I'm not really sure if it's better now... Anyway, I hope somebody here can take a look at the text and tell me if grammar and stlye is ok.


    Nathaniel Conte is an independent artist and composer based in Austria. His main instrument is the acoustic guitar, but in creating his music, he relies heavily on digital technologies like samplers, synthesizers, MIDI and a wide range of virtual instruments. So one could argue that Nate's real primary instrument is actually his laptop...

    Nathaniel composes songs since more than a decade, and in 2007 he decided to share some of his music with an wider audience. This resulted in the small-scale publication of his self-produced and self-distributed demo album, consisting of ten songs which were composed between 2000 and 2006. After moving to Vienna in fall 2010, Nate began to intensify his work on new songs, and within a couple of months he had enough material finished to produce his second album "Caminos Nuevos" which was released in July 2011. In the same year, Nathaniel's music was also featured on the documentary "Alternative Kommunen" by austrian filmmaker Herbert Mueller.

    To define Nathaniel's music by specific genres is a rather difficult task, as he tends to blend or mix all kinds of sounds - from spanish Rumba, Flamenco and Mestizo influences to Electronica, Dub, Jazz and middle eastern as well as indian music. With elements from a great variety of musical landscapes incorporated into his sound, Nathaniel's music might be best described as experimental world-fusion based on a mix of electronica and live instrumentation.

  5. #5
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: proofreading my bio

    Quote Originally Posted by nconte View Post
    Hi emsr2d2!

    Following your advice, I made a few changes, but since I'm not a native speaker, I'm not really sure if it's better now. Anyway, I hope somebody here can take a look at the text and tell me if the grammar and the stlye style is are ok OK.



    Nathaniel Conte is an independent artist and composer based in Austria. His main instrument is the acoustic guitar, but in creating his music, he relies heavily on digital technologies like samplers, synthesizers, MIDI and a wide range of virtual instruments. So one could argue that Nate's real primary instrument is actually his laptop.

    Nathaniel composes has been writing songs since for more than a decade, and in 2007 he decided to share some of his music with an wider audience. This resulted in the small-scale publication of his self-produced and self-distributed demo album, consisting of ten songs which were composed between 2000 and 2006. After moving to Vienna in the fall of 2010, Nate began to intensify his work work intensively on new songs, and within a couple of months he had enough material finished to produce his second album "Caminos Nuevos", which was released in July 2011. In the same year, Nathaniel's music was also featured on the documentary "Alternative Kommunen" by Austrian filmmaker Herbert Mueller.

    To define Nathaniel's music by as specific genres is a rather difficult task, as he tends to blend or mix all kinds of sounds, from Spanish rumba, flamenco and mestizo influences to electronica, dub, jazz and Middle Eastern as well as Indian music. With elements from of a great variety of musical landscapes incorporated into his sound, Nathaniel's music might be best described as experimental world-fusion based on a mix of electronica and live instrumentation.
    See above for my corrections and suggested amendments.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  6. #6
    nconte is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: proofreading my bio

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See above for my corrections and suggested amendments.
    Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it!

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